I admire all of you and your reserve. I'm afraid I would have been more forceful--not necessarily without compassion, but adamant.

I believe she's feeling a great amount of guilt over the incident, and she's probably not the type to ever admit it. But she probably cannot feel compassion for the family of the victim, because that would mean she would have to realize her son got off too lightly. She can't see the other side because it would force her to change her beliefs about what happened.

She reminds me a lot of my own mother.

Sam's dead. That trumps all her feelings or desire to "move on". That's what I would have been adamant about. I'm feeling the ire rising again.

Karen