SERIOUS emotional advice needed - What would you do???

[Zen]

Isn't the offending driver of legal age? Why is Mom so involved? No one is suing her.
She must be getting therapeutic counseling confused with legal counseling.

[Sheesh]

I agree with previous posters that confronting this mother will not do any good, and will probably just make the situation worse - she'll probably go so far as to call you "stalkers", like she does the member of the Evansville Bike Club. I'm sure there's little you can do to get through to her, so I would recommend continuing with what you're doing to reach those who are likely to hear the message. Your work to educate motorists and remind them to "Share the Road" is very commendable!

[SR500]

A very difficult situation. Maybe best to see if time can't provide some more healing. Maybe see if a minister or other person might get a few of you together with her and see if any common ground can be found. Bottom line, one man is dead and a family devastated

[Tuckervill]

I admire all of you and your reserve. I'm afraid I would have been more forceful--not necessarily without compassion, but adamant.

I believe she's feeling a great amount of guilt over the incident, and she's probably not the type to ever admit it. But she probably cannot feel compassion for the family of the victim, because that would mean she would have to realize her son got off too lightly. She can't see the other side because it would force her to change her beliefs about what happened.

She reminds me a lot of my own mother.

Sam's dead. That trumps all her feelings or desire to "move on". That's what I would have been adamant about. I'm feeling the ire rising again.

Karen

[Mr. Bloom]

Sam's dead. That trumps all her feelings or desire to "move on". That's what I would have been adamant about. I'm feeling the ire rising again.

You're right...but she won't move on. I'm convinced that she confronted the group today because she is finding identity in the being the victim.

Example: She thinks someone is stalking her from the bike club???? The Evansville Bike Club is a co-defendent - with her family in the lawsuits! Why would they stalk her...in reality, we've been frustrated by the Bike Club's ambivalence to the accident and their slowness to embrace the STR campaign.

So, all this to say: I think she's going wallow in her misery for a long time because it gives her an excuse for her family's dysfunctions (whatever they might be...). Why should be rudely fuel her fire? We'll make sure she doesn't confront Silver again...but I'm not going to fuel her need to be the victim.