Sounds like a good weekend - overall I find the drivers to be courteous as well, even the tourists. But, you do get a lot of congestion in season and depending on the road it can be challenging. But, at the end of the day most realize everyone's there to have a good time so they are respectful, it's just "relax" mode. I am pretty sure many of these same drivers are not so mellow when they are rushing to/from work, or to the kids' game, vet appt or whatever else they are busy with back at home.
In P-town people on bikes bob and weave all over in ways I have yet to fathom as safe, not to mention the pedestrians stepping out wherever they please, and yet it all seems to work.
As for upper NY, hmm... I've ridden around near Saratoga Springs, Lake Placid, Wilmington, Jay, Keene areas and the cars have been almost without exception considerate... even on the roads farther away from LP and the IM course they've been pretty good. Not sure where you are but maybe your area needs more cyclists to cause a mindshift in the drivers.
Oh, and another restaurant to go to (best in non-peak season) is Moby <banned word here>'s, right on 6 out of Wellfleet. It is my husband's fave seafood shack there, but it is always mobbed in summer.
So glad you had a restful and meaningful weekend there...