Why thank you, Knotted and Lisa. I appreciate that. And, Lisa, you are right in pointing that out -- it's not the "telling her" it's the drinking that's ruining her life.

Zen, I've been around the block a time or two, and I find that lying is just not the answer in a situation like this. It would probably come back to bite her in the butt, as the friend may very well figure out that the good deal, no room at the inn story is not true. In the end, that just makes things worse.

Of course "no, your drunken behavior will ruin my trip," is ridiculous! There are much more thoughtful ways to handle it. Such as, "I love you, but you have been through counseling enough times to know that your drinking can be a problem. We are not going on this trip to party and get loaded. By the same token, we are not going on this trip to completely avoid alcohol. We are afraid of what may happen. Past experience has told us that it is a strong possibility."

Unfortunately, people like this don't usually figure it out entirely on their own. They usually need an event or an epiphany. This could be the event that turns her around. Or not. Time will tell.