Balancing career, parenting, chores, cycling..

[LadyinWhite]

How do we do it? I often sit in awe reading about these long rides taken and I ask myself "How do they find the time?"

Today:

Up at 6 - Take care of job related paper work, get the princess off to school, confirm tonight's little league game with DH, start laundry.

Realize the boy's too sick to go to school, medicate him and get him settled in for the morning. Make a couple of business calls, move the laundry around (washer to dryer, dryer to basket)

Head out for a ride - a rolling 22 mile loop.

Stop back at home to check on the boy, return a couple of business calls. Make sure all is well, head out for a ride - a flat straight shot out to the ocean and back (22 miles)

Get home, feed the boy, move the laundry, shower, grab the boy and head out to run errands before the princess gets home and Mom's taxi opens for business.

I'm riding in the Tour de Cure on June 2. I'm trying to get out on my bike every chance I get to get some miles under me. I'm telling you ladies - I don't know HOW you do it. After work, by the end of the day after dinner, chores, errands and parenting I'm exhausted and in bed by 10. Tomorrow I'm teaching 8 - 3 then 5 - 8pm.

Weekends are filled to the brim with Little League, traveling baseball, in law visits, chores, errands, take the princess here, pick her up from there. If I can squeeze a 90 min ride out it's a miracle and even then my cell is bound to go off at least once while I'm out there. (I almost never ride on the weekends)

If it wasn't for this June 2 ride coming up, I probably wouldn't care. Being a wife and mom, holding down a job, these are all things I love and embrace in my life and am more than happy to invest the time to do well- but with this ride coming up, I'm starting to freak.

T

[mimitabby]

Lady
my kids are raised. I have enough trouble attending to everything i need to juggling house, job and exercise.
When just DH was riding, it wasn't so bad, I just did more chores. But now I'm riding more too... and there's no one to pick up the slack! sometimes now DH will do stuff (please don't get me wrong, he helped some when just he was riding too) but there's entire AREAS like yardwork that have become poor forgotten orphans in our lives.

I frankly don't know how you do it!

When my kids were little, I really focussed on them. Once they were self sufficient i started taking better care of myself. So i guess it gets better.

Good luck!

[IFjane]

LiW - I agree with mimi. My children are grown and gone. When they were little all I did was devote my time to them, my job and the house (oh yes, and my EXhusband).....and gained 69 pounds I didn't need in the process. It wasn't until the oldest was off to college that I had a little slack time to start working out and take off the weight.

I honestly do not know how mothers with children do it! My hat is off to all of you for being the incredible women you are! I wish I had some words of wisdom to tell you, but all I have are words of awe.

[maillotpois]

LadyinWhite - don't freak - breathe....

It is definitely a juggle. I have an 11 year old and a full time job as a litigation attorney. Frankly, during the week, my job interferes more with my family than riding does - and I am not particularly happy about that. (DD is always wanting me to drive all the field trips, etc. I do what I can - and more than a lot of non-working moms in our school do, quite frankly, but I can't do it all. )

During the week, I will either get up before dawn (4 - 5) and ride outside (I have GOOD lights) or I will do a spinerval on the trainer. I am lucky if I can ride 1 - 2 hours each day on 3 days a week during the week. I won't even try to ride at night because that's my time with my daughter.

Weekends would be tough without very supportive in laws because most of one day a week is spent on long rides.

DH and I ride together often - we both coach for Team in Training, and we are training a group to do the Death Ride in July. So some of that time is our "couple" time togther, which is nice. We don't generally get babysitters and go out on dates at night - we ride together instead. We'll ride Davis double century together in a couple of weeks, which will be fun, too.

The brevets have been a bit tough this year and DH (who isn't doing them with me) was worried about me riding through the night yet again, so he (nicely) asked me not to do the 600k I was planning. That's fine. I'll stick to easier doubles for the rest of the year.

And remember - breathe! It doesn't all have to get done right now. And if your kids are little, the riding may have to take a backseat for a while. That's okay. When the kids are a little older and more self-sufficient, you can spend more time on your bike. You only get one childhood with them.

[LadyinWhite]

LadyinWhite - don't freak - breathe....

It is definitely a juggle.

Whew - glad it's not just me. The kids are pretty old. Boy is turning 13 in a few weeks and the Princess is 15. That's the only reason I got out today, I could leave him alone nursing his cold for two separate rides.

They are incredibly mature and self sufficient but I'm still in hot demand. Especially on the weekends! Which, I guess, is a good thing

You are right about one thing - it's now or never with them. The princess is off to college in 3 short years, the boy right on her heels. These crazy days will be gone before I know and I'll be wondering what to do to fill the hours.

T.

[maillotpois]

It's funny - as they get older, they get more self-sufficient, yet you want to be more and more involved because the potential for them getting in trouble, doing bad things, etc. just gets higher. The stakes get higher.

Right now, I wouldn't hesitate to leave my daughter home alone for a couple hours to get a ride in. She walks hom by herself, she gets herself to school most mornings after we leave for work. We live in a very safe area (knock on wood). But in a couple of years when she's in middle school and then high school - I am not so sure. Much will depend on how she conducts herself and who her friends are then.

So I was expecting your kids would be younger, but I totally get that as they get older you almost have to be more involved. I am hoping work is more flexible in a couple of years to facilitate that.

I don't do much laundry.... (Actually, the kid is getting pretty good at it, but I pay a price. Literally... )

[Crankin]

I didn't ride when my kids (now 22 and 24) were young, but I did teach aerobics and live at the gym. I mostly did this at 5-6 AM and then went to work. My husband was always the morning person (when he was in town, since he traveled a lot) and when they were really little and he wasn't around, (under 5 and 7) I had a teenaged babysitter who would come to my house at 4:40 AM so I could go teach aerobics, come home and shower, and then wait for my nanny to come. They just knew that mom was at the gym... I would get up early on weekends and go at 8 AM, so it didn't interfere with any family plans.
My kids were very self sufficient and I never hesitated about leaving them to go ride when they were teenagers. By this time, my oldest was about to graduate HS and the younger one was already a ranked junior level racer. He was gone riding more than me! Of course, they never did anything to make me not trust them. I am a strong believer in not sacrificing your whole life for your kids. I've seen too many people who end up having no life and no relationship with their spouse when the kids leave, including all of my friends from AZ who are now divorced. Of course, we did a lot with them when they were growing up, but my husband and I went out just about every Saturday night alone, or with other couples when they were growing up. We still do now, but we also spend most of our time riding together. Some of our non-riding friends think it's "over the top," but while they are sitting there complaining about how overweight they are, I am out doing something active.
Sorry to digress!

[Jenn]

I know many don't consider being a stay at home mom a full time job. BUT, this boss doesn't grant lunch breaks, coffee breaks, NO breaks. So, I'm up at 4:30AM to be on the spin bike by 5AM for an hour, then I can cool down before the "Pincess" is up at 7AM. I made the choice to stop my medical coding job and go to school at night for my R.N. But being a stay at home mother is BY FAR the HARDEST job I've ever had, mostly because I'm a people person, I LOVE people and I'm so isolated being home.. However, I cannot handle the thought of handing my daughter over to a total stranger in this day and age and say here...take the most precious thing in my life and do what you will. When she can communicate with me (outside of signing to me) I'll put here in daycare and go to school full time and finish my R.N.
But it sucks, that's why DH and I have to stager riding, I ride early on Sat and Sun and when I get back he goes, but now that we have the trailer, Sun is totally family day and we ALL ride.
I know its' tiring being a working mother and I feel for ya'll but it's NO easier being home. Being a mother not MATTER what you do is 24/7 and it's tiring and frustrating but it is so FULFILLING!!!

[LadyinWhite]

, but my husband and I went out just about every Saturday night alone, or with other couples when they were growing up. We still do now, but we also spend most of our time riding together. Some of our non-riding friends think it's "over the top," but while they are sitting there complaining about how overweight they are, I am out doing something active.
Sorry to digress!

I hear ya and I don't think it's over the top at all - My DH and I have been accused of spending too much time together since we started dating 24 years ago. It's crazy! I just laugh because while we may be the only couple we know who still can't get enough of each other, we're also about the only couple we know truly connected and content as a couple.

I also agree that it's important to maintain individual pursuits and couple pursuits as well as family pursuits. You are right on the money there!

I'm the only one in my family who rides which, I think, complicates things a bit. While it's my individual pursuit - it's my time, so it's worth slicing out the time for, for me alone. It also sometimes makes it easier to sacrifice in the name of "more important" activities.

Though - my family supports me 100% in anything I do so I'm not really complaining - just commenting on how we all have to juggle this to make room for that these days. And - they know - where ever we go this summer, so goes Mom's bike. LOL!!

[LadyinWhite]

Being a mother not MATTER what you do is 24/7 and it's tiring and frustrating but it is so FULFILLING!!!

Very true - as they get older, it gets less physical and more mental but just as demanding and just as amazing and wonderful

I've been so very fortunate, able to spend their earliest years home, working p/t, nights, etc keeping my hand in the profession until as they got older I began building a client base until now, I'm very busy but managing a lot of it on my own terms (namely keeping most of the summer free!!!)

Sounds like you know what's right for you and made the best decision for your family.

Can't ask for more than that

T.

[Bikingmomof3]

I know its' tiring being a working mother and I feel for ya'll but it's NO easier being home. Being a mother not MATTER what you do is
24/7 and it's tiring and frustrating but it is so FULFILLING!!!

Jenn,
I am a SAHM of 3 teen boys. It does not get easier as they get older, just different and definitely more mentally challenging, but still immensely satisfying.

I honestly do not know how working moms do it and I admire ALL moms. I tried being a working mom and was dead tired. Who knew I could be more tired than I was.

All moms are great!!!

[Aggie_Ama]

I don't know how you moms do it and eventually I will be trying to figure it out. Right now DH and I are dead tired all the time. We have trouble keeping our house in tip top shape, riding, cooking and sleeping. In a year or two (or three?) we want to try to through a baby in the mix.

We are knew home owners, so maybe we will get the hang of that before the kiddo!

[mimitabby]

BMo3
it DOES get easier as they get older (you need to babysit a 2 year old for 10 minutes if you've forgotten.)
You can leave them long enough to go to the store, at a certain age, and then at another certain age, you can leave them for an evening.
I'm not saying that I am not still tied up in knots (sorry Knot) about stuff involving my two sons (with DH saying, let it go, they are 26 and 28 years old)
but guess what? I can leave the house for the week and when I come back everythin'g is just fine!

so yes.. it DOES get easier.

[Bikingmomof3]

BMo3so yes.. it DOES get easier.

Oh good! I have something to look forward to.

[Crankin]

I think it does get easier, too. Yes, the issues of early adolescents and teens/college students are there, but it is different than the stress of little kids. You don't have to drive them everywhere at a certain point, and for me, that was the key to freedom. Of course, with the car and driving came other responsibilities, but somehow, both of my boys got out of high school without any car accidents, drinking or drug issues. In fact, they were wusses compared to what their mom did back in the sixties and seventies. They both had their activities which kept them extremely busy; cycling for one and music/band for the other. I have a really close relationship with them as adults, which I am thankful for. Not stifling close, but they tell me stuff that most grown men wouldn't discuss with their mom. I don't even see my son who lives in Boston more than once every month, but the closeness is there. We always told them that no matter what bad thing they did or what happened, just tell us. I think being a teacher has given me a realistic perspective on kids. I was always brutally honest with them and talked to them about anything when they asked.
So far it has worked. If I could live through my youngest joining the marines, I can live through anything.