Balancing career, parenting, chores, cycling..

[maillotpois]

It's funny - as they get older, they get more self-sufficient, yet you want to be more and more involved because the potential for them getting in trouble, doing bad things, etc. just gets higher. The stakes get higher.

Right now, I wouldn't hesitate to leave my daughter home alone for a couple hours to get a ride in. She walks hom by herself, she gets herself to school most mornings after we leave for work. We live in a very safe area (knock on wood). But in a couple of years when she's in middle school and then high school - I am not so sure. Much will depend on how she conducts herself and who her friends are then.

So I was expecting your kids would be younger, but I totally get that as they get older you almost have to be more involved. I am hoping work is more flexible in a couple of years to facilitate that.

I don't do much laundry.... (Actually, the kid is getting pretty good at it, but I pay a price. Literally... )

[Crankin]

I didn't ride when my kids (now 22 and 24) were young, but I did teach aerobics and live at the gym. I mostly did this at 5-6 AM and then went to work. My husband was always the morning person (when he was in town, since he traveled a lot) and when they were really little and he wasn't around, (under 5 and 7) I had a teenaged babysitter who would come to my house at 4:40 AM so I could go teach aerobics, come home and shower, and then wait for my nanny to come. They just knew that mom was at the gym... I would get up early on weekends and go at 8 AM, so it didn't interfere with any family plans.
My kids were very self sufficient and I never hesitated about leaving them to go ride when they were teenagers. By this time, my oldest was about to graduate HS and the younger one was already a ranked junior level racer. He was gone riding more than me! Of course, they never did anything to make me not trust them. I am a strong believer in not sacrificing your whole life for your kids. I've seen too many people who end up having no life and no relationship with their spouse when the kids leave, including all of my friends from AZ who are now divorced. Of course, we did a lot with them when they were growing up, but my husband and I went out just about every Saturday night alone, or with other couples when they were growing up. We still do now, but we also spend most of our time riding together. Some of our non-riding friends think it's "over the top," but while they are sitting there complaining about how overweight they are, I am out doing something active.
Sorry to digress!

[Jenn]

I know many don't consider being a stay at home mom a full time job. BUT, this boss doesn't grant lunch breaks, coffee breaks, NO breaks. So, I'm up at 4:30AM to be on the spin bike by 5AM for an hour, then I can cool down before the "Pincess" is up at 7AM. I made the choice to stop my medical coding job and go to school at night for my R.N. But being a stay at home mother is BY FAR the HARDEST job I've ever had, mostly because I'm a people person, I LOVE people and I'm so isolated being home.. However, I cannot handle the thought of handing my daughter over to a total stranger in this day and age and say here...take the most precious thing in my life and do what you will. When she can communicate with me (outside of signing to me) I'll put here in daycare and go to school full time and finish my R.N.
But it sucks, that's why DH and I have to stager riding, I ride early on Sat and Sun and when I get back he goes, but now that we have the trailer, Sun is totally family day and we ALL ride.
I know its' tiring being a working mother and I feel for ya'll but it's NO easier being home. Being a mother not MATTER what you do is 24/7 and it's tiring and frustrating but it is so FULFILLING!!!

[LadyinWhite]

Being a mother not MATTER what you do is 24/7 and it's tiring and frustrating but it is so FULFILLING!!!

Very true - as they get older, it gets less physical and more mental but just as demanding and just as amazing and wonderful

I've been so very fortunate, able to spend their earliest years home, working p/t, nights, etc keeping my hand in the profession until as they got older I began building a client base until now, I'm very busy but managing a lot of it on my own terms (namely keeping most of the summer free!!!)

Sounds like you know what's right for you and made the best decision for your family.

Can't ask for more than that

T.

[Bikingmomof3]

I know its' tiring being a working mother and I feel for ya'll but it's NO easier being home. Being a mother not MATTER what you do is
24/7 and it's tiring and frustrating but it is so FULFILLING!!!

Jenn,
I am a SAHM of 3 teen boys. It does not get easier as they get older, just different and definitely more mentally challenging, but still immensely satisfying.

I honestly do not know how working moms do it and I admire ALL moms. I tried being a working mom and was dead tired. Who knew I could be more tired than I was.

All moms are great!!!

[Aggie_Ama]

I don't know how you moms do it and eventually I will be trying to figure it out. Right now DH and I are dead tired all the time. We have trouble keeping our house in tip top shape, riding, cooking and sleeping. In a year or two (or three?) we want to try to through a baby in the mix.

We are knew home owners, so maybe we will get the hang of that before the kiddo!

[mimitabby]

BMo3
it DOES get easier as they get older (you need to babysit a 2 year old for 10 minutes if you've forgotten.)
You can leave them long enough to go to the store, at a certain age, and then at another certain age, you can leave them for an evening.
I'm not saying that I am not still tied up in knots (sorry Knot) about stuff involving my two sons (with DH saying, let it go, they are 26 and 28 years old)
but guess what? I can leave the house for the week and when I come back everythin'g is just fine!

so yes.. it DOES get easier.

[Bikingmomof3]

BMo3so yes.. it DOES get easier.

Oh good! I have something to look forward to.

[Crankin]

I think it does get easier, too. Yes, the issues of early adolescents and teens/college students are there, but it is different than the stress of little kids. You don't have to drive them everywhere at a certain point, and for me, that was the key to freedom. Of course, with the car and driving came other responsibilities, but somehow, both of my boys got out of high school without any car accidents, drinking or drug issues. In fact, they were wusses compared to what their mom did back in the sixties and seventies. They both had their activities which kept them extremely busy; cycling for one and music/band for the other. I have a really close relationship with them as adults, which I am thankful for. Not stifling close, but they tell me stuff that most grown men wouldn't discuss with their mom. I don't even see my son who lives in Boston more than once every month, but the closeness is there. We always told them that no matter what bad thing they did or what happened, just tell us. I think being a teacher has given me a realistic perspective on kids. I was always brutally honest with them and talked to them about anything when they asked.
So far it has worked. If I could live through my youngest joining the marines, I can live through anything.

[LadyinWhite]

, but my husband and I went out just about every Saturday night alone, or with other couples when they were growing up. We still do now, but we also spend most of our time riding together. Some of our non-riding friends think it's "over the top," but while they are sitting there complaining about how overweight they are, I am out doing something active.
Sorry to digress!

I hear ya and I don't think it's over the top at all - My DH and I have been accused of spending too much time together since we started dating 24 years ago. It's crazy! I just laugh because while we may be the only couple we know who still can't get enough of each other, we're also about the only couple we know truly connected and content as a couple.

I also agree that it's important to maintain individual pursuits and couple pursuits as well as family pursuits. You are right on the money there!

I'm the only one in my family who rides which, I think, complicates things a bit. While it's my individual pursuit - it's my time, so it's worth slicing out the time for, for me alone. It also sometimes makes it easier to sacrifice in the name of "more important" activities.

Though - my family supports me 100% in anything I do so I'm not really complaining - just commenting on how we all have to juggle this to make room for that these days. And - they know - where ever we go this summer, so goes Mom's bike. LOL!!