only 20 bucks but

[stacie]

I should clarify. I didn't get her water. It honestly didn't even occur to me when she waved her bottle that she wanted me to fill it up for her. When she asked me, I was dumbfounded that she thought I should leave my responsibilities to get her water. If it were anyone else, I'd think it was insulting. From her, I just think she has no idea that I"m not there just to serve her. s

[snapdragen]

Kind of like the lady I used to work with, she brought me the empty coffee pot "Snap, we're out of coffee". I looked at her and said - "Then make some more!" She was stunned.

I should clarify. I didn't get her water. It honestly didn't even occur to me when she waved her bottle that she wanted me to fill it up for her. When she asked me, I was dumbfounded that she thought I should leave my responsibilities to get her water. If it were anyone else, I'd think it was insulting. From her, I just think she has no idea that I"m not there just to serve her. s

[teigyr]

I don't know...I tend to define people by their actions. A sweet or nice person doesn't act quite so inconsiderate unless it truly is an oversight instead of a pattern. This guy KNEW so, um, in my mind it makes him something I can't say here

DH and I get into debates about this. He'll say someone is a sweet person but they just have these bad "habits". These habits can include lying, using people, you get the idea. I say then no, this person is NOT a sweet person. I can see genuine misunderstandings or forgetfulness but not as a rule. Also, apologies work wonders and a truly nice or sweet person will be somewhat mortified by their actions (or forgetfulness) and say they're sorry. Maybe?

Then again, I'm kind of a b&*^# too

[mimitabby]

Then again, I'm kind of a b&*^# too

NO YOU ARE NOT! (but I agree with you about the rest of what you said)

[Mr. Bloom]

DH and I get into debates about this. He'll say someone is a sweet person but they just have these bad "habits". These habits can include lying, using people, you get the idea.

I think a psychologist would argue with DH as to whether these are "bad habits"...but clearly DH should be affirmed for his positive perspective

[silver]

Mr. this thread makes me think of your parents and B and B. this couple B and B are predators. they identify the wealthier residents of the retirement home and ingratiate themselves. they bought liquor for the In-laws to the point of them drinking 15 ounces of scotch each/every day. We had to call them to stop it threatening a court order. then they borrowed money from the MIL when the FIL was in the hospital, then were slow to pay it back and THEN stole the money from where they saw that she kept it.

But the In-laws still say they are sweet people.

[teigyr]

See, there are things that sweet people simply do not do. There are momentary oversights or special circumstances but it is the exception and not the rule. DH tends to give people the benefit of the doubt which is nice and tolerant of him; I am quicker to link the action with the integrity of the person. (Thanks Mimi for earlier, by the way! I joke about the B word just because I can be fairly resolute about things.)

Back to the friend who borrowed money - I see pattern. He borrowed from his GF then borrowed from his friend THEN intentionally avoided contact and when contact was made, he was insulting. Grrrrr. I would've loved to have been the one he said that to because I DO have aggressions to work out

Silver, we had a situation like that also though it was a relative. Was bad. Fortunately, nobody thought this guy was nice or sweet though he did a lot of damage.