Aw, see, I kind of feel sorry for Aunt Jean based on that story. I think life can be really miserable when one partner has an all-consuming hobby that takes away any free time they'd spend with their spouse ... and it seems like sometimes the hobby started as a way to get away from the spouse.

Everyone needs their own thing and there are plenty of happy couples who get along fine with different interests, but really, you have to have something in common, something you like to do together, and probably you need to work on making time for the things you like to do together and not get one hundred percent focused on the thing you like to do alone. Otherwise what is the point of being together in the first place?

My folks each have some independent interests -- gardening for my mom, fishing and hunting for my dad -- but they spend the most time hiking because it is the thing they both like to do. I think my mom might actually prefer gardening, and I know my dad prefers fishing, but I think they are a healthier and happier couple overall because they spend a lot of time hiking together than they would be if he were off fishing all day, every day, while she worked alone in her garden.

They do that, too, and for that matter she fishes and he helps in the garden, but I really admire the way they've balanced the his, mine, and ours set of interests in a way that gives them plenty of time alone but also plenty of time having fun together.