I Met A Bike Widow Today

[LadyinWhite]

Anyway, it was interesting to view a bike widow's perspective. She is not a happy lady.

Darcy

I know a bike widow as well but with a very different attitude. Like you, Darcy, I too have become increasingly fit over the last year from biking and people have noticed. One day this past Jan I was talking with a neighbor who noticed and wanted to know my "secret." Naturally this opened the door for me to tell her about cycling. It turns out, her husband rides every day all spring/summer.

He has several bikes including a tandem to use with the Mrs. He has gotten his twin 12 yo sons into riding as well and the one son actually goes with him on long event rides. She just laughed when she was telling me about him because of course, like you, I was very interested in hearing about what he rides, where he rides (they live just up the street from me), and how far he rides.

She was totally supportive, not particularly interested in joining him and just accepts this as his "thing." Not to mention he's in great shape.

My own DH is a bit of a bike widower. He's been trained to know when he looks out his office window now that if it's warm and sunny, don't expect dinner to be waiting on the table when he gets home! He (and my kids) are just really proud of me, not feeling frustrated about the time away or the cost.

It's a shame your aunt has so much frustration associated with the Mr's riding.

As for missing a day of riding. I went through a phase where I would get myself all wound up if I thought I should be out riding and I wasn't. Particularly recently when I brought the Girl out of the basement during a warm spell and haven't brought her back down to the trainer (or gone riding) since.

I've decided it's ok to be very zen about the whole thing. Spring is coming - not winter. Soon I'll be out nearly ever day. If I miss a week or two now during this cold rainy spell, it's not the end of the world. It's all good.

Try not to beat yourself up when you miss a day, particularly to pay your respects. Contrary to what some cyclists might have you believe - there really is more to life than -just- cycling. Sounds like you got to see some family, spend some time with your hubby and get a great hike in with your dog! A good day all around

T

PS: I love that you are wearing cute new outfits! Enjoy!! It's so fun!!

[xeney]

Aw, see, I kind of feel sorry for Aunt Jean based on that story. I think life can be really miserable when one partner has an all-consuming hobby that takes away any free time they'd spend with their spouse ... and it seems like sometimes the hobby started as a way to get away from the spouse.

Everyone needs their own thing and there are plenty of happy couples who get along fine with different interests, but really, you have to have something in common, something you like to do together, and probably you need to work on making time for the things you like to do together and not get one hundred percent focused on the thing you like to do alone. Otherwise what is the point of being together in the first place?

My folks each have some independent interests -- gardening for my mom, fishing and hunting for my dad -- but they spend the most time hiking because it is the thing they both like to do. I think my mom might actually prefer gardening, and I know my dad prefers fishing, but I think they are a healthier and happier couple overall because they spend a lot of time hiking together than they would be if he were off fishing all day, every day, while she worked alone in her garden.

They do that, too, and for that matter she fishes and he helps in the garden, but I really admire the way they've balanced the his, mine, and ours set of interests in a way that gives them plenty of time alone but also plenty of time having fun together.

[pooks]

... and it seems like sometimes the hobby started as a way to get away from the spouse.

Obviously we just have a little piece of the story, but as I read about her tirade that's what crossed my mind. She doesn't sound very pleasant to come home to.

I agree, it's sad if they don't have enough in common to sustain their relationship. I hope she has some interests of her own.

[li10up]

Even if he is riding 6 hrs. a day that give them plenty of time to be together. I think if she found an interest of her own she wouldn't be so down on hubby. When both people are happy with themselves they will be more likely to be happy together.

[pooks]

She's unhappy about the money he spends on it, the time he spends on it, and that he has two bikes (though that might be the money). It's possible that the money is a real issue and/or he doesn't let her spend money and/or any number of other issues.

But it really does make me think she's just unhappy and hard to be around. I say, don't force yourself to ride a bike if that's not what you want, but find something that you like to do and DO it. Don't just sit and be resentful that your partner does.

[DarcyInOregon]

I actually have a little update to this story.

Remember, Aunt Jean is not my relative, she is the aunt of my friend, the sister of my friend's mom who died of lung failure due to post-polio syndrome.

My friend called after the memorial party for his mom was over. He told me a bit more about Aunt Jean. The real reason for her discontent is that she is convinced her husband is having an affair with the lady at the bike shop. She snooped into her husband's cell phone statements and saw a lot of calls to the bike shop. Ok, now the next stuff I write shows what an innocent I am because I don't have a clue - really. Evidently her husband is well endowed and he is exiting the house every day wearing Spandex that shows everything quite clearly and he is dressed like that when he is at the bike shop. Thus, he is flaunting his stuff and the lady at the bike shop can't possibly resist, and therefore he is having an affair.

As I said, I don't have a clue. When I see male cyclists, they are on the other side of the road going in the opposite direction and on their bikes. When I am at an event ride or wherever there are male cyclists, I am not looking at their crotch, so I don't know.

Darcy

[mimitabby]

Darcy,
I'm with you. I think Aunt Jean has an overactive imagination.
Think of your typical bike shop employee. You think they're going to get
the hots for some old guy in tight shorts? heck, everyone going in and out of that store is wearing tight shorts.

that's pretty funny, but also sad. Aunt Jean needs to get a life. Too bad.
There are far too many aunt Jeans in the world, i know.

[LadyinWhite]

*just sitting here laughing my head off at the image this fine looking gentleman in his late 60's strutting his stuff in spandex at the LBS*

I dunno - I love cycling, I love cycling apparel and I do so love the sight of a tight bodied fit male athlete but I have yet to find ANY man sexy in cycling apparel.

Yes.. even Lance. Sorry but geeeeze.. spandex shorts just don't do it for me.