How to Speak Roadie

[snapdragen]

I found this on another site --


Roadie Translations:

"I'm out of shape"

Translation: I ride 400 miles a week and haven't missed a day since
the Ford administration. I replace my 11-tooth cog more often than
you wash your shorts. My bodyfat percentage is lower than your
mortgage rate.

"I'm not into competition"

Translation: I will attack until you collapse in the gutter,
babbling and whimpering as if you've been watching Celebrity Poker. I will win the town-line sprint if I have to hook you into an oncoming traffic. I will crest this hill first if I have to grab your seatpost, spray energy drink in your eyes and ask you how to program
my DVD player.

"I'm on my beater bike"

Translation: I had this baby custom-made in Tuscany using titanium
blessed by the Pope. I took it to a wind tunnel and it disappeared.
It weighs less than a popcorn fart and costs more than a divorce.

"It's not that hilly"

Translation: This climb lasts longer than a presidential campaign.
Be careful on the steep sections or you'll fall over -- backward. You
have a 39x23 low gear? Here's the name of my knee surgeon.

"You're doing great, honey"

Translation: Yo, lard-o, I'd like to get home before midnight. This
is what you get for spending the winter watching football and gobbling
Sausages. I shoulda married that cute Cat 1 when I had the chance.

"This is a no-drop ride"

Translation: I'll need an article of your clothing. It's for the
search-and-rescue dogs.

"It's not that far"

Translation: Yes, it is.
__________________

[doc]

I love it! I especially liked "you're doing great honey" Hah LOL

[MomOnBike]

Thanks for the laugh, snapdragon.

I've always had the feeling that the definition of a no-drop ride was something like that.

Still giggling...

[bikerchick68]

that's hysterical... I copied and sent it out to well... everyone!

[spazzdog]

Snap honey... are you sippin' those Lemon Drop 'tinis again?

That was good... if only it was what I really meant when I said I was out of shape...

[Trek420]

spazzzzz,

that was great, especially the "not that hilly part".

reminds me on the Cindy at one point I caught up with Spazz and she said something like "not that hilly my a^%, THAT (points) is a hill. You are on my s&^% list."

I had to qualify it with "compared to other Bay Area rides this is not that hilly"

Sorry spazz you did great although we all bow before the bike goddess

[Adventure Girl]

reminds me on the Cindy at one point I caught up with Spazz and she said something like "not that hilly my a^%, THAT (points) is a hill. You are on my s&^% list."

I can picture this exchange! Spazz, you're a nut!

[CorsairMac]

Loved it Snap - especially the no-drop=need an article of your clothing. If I ever get into a club, I'll be sure and bring an extra jersey on a no-drop ride!

[snapdragen]

Snap honey... are you sippin' those Lemon Drop 'tinis again?

That was good... if only it was what I really meant when I said I was out of shape...

Today I could've used an intravenous needle hooked up to a large batch of 'tinis.

[spazzdog]

Snap... I've wanted the same thing but with a bag of HerraDura Anejo margaritas. I'd eat the salt and suck a lime every now and then.