Rules of the Hot Water Heater: If the pilot light lights, make sure you hold the ignition button down long enough for it to stay on. If you don't get it to light, make sure you're using a long enough match (I like fireplace matches). If none of this works, make sure you have paid the gas bill.

Rule of the Hammer: Make sure your thumb is out of the way and don't let the strength of your hit be greater than the aim of your eye.

Rule of Intimidation: Remember, even Bob Vila started somewhere before he became the king of home improvement.

Oh, the stories I (or Silver) could tell...