more sad news from bcipam...

[Mr. Bloom]

bcipam, I'm sorry for the loss, the pain of your family, and the challenges you have sharing the burden with those you love.

2 Corinthians 4:7-9:
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

May God's grace go with you in your travels and your ministry to your family.

[bikerchick68]

Pam...

I think you know I work as a Crisis Interventionist with the local PD. I don't have a lot of resources for other states, but I do have this:

http://211.org/

click on "find your local 211 call center" and then enter the zip code where they live. It will give you a BUNCH of resources, including contact info for Survivors of Suicide. I cannot say enough how much I encourage the enire family to seek help in dealing with this loss.

It is normal that the nephew is angry... it's part of the grieving process. The hard part is learning to direct that anger in a healthy way, not towards other family members. There are many, many free support groups out there... with other people who have experienced the loss of someone they love to suicide.

Guilt is a normal part of this process as well... but I can tell you one thing. When someone decides, truly decides that they're done, and they're going to commit suicide, there is NOTHING anyone can do to stop them. At that point, it's just a matter of them finding the privacy needed to make it happen and there is nothing anyone can do. You cannot stay with them 24/7. The one thing you can say to your family, with total conviction is this: It's not your fault. It was his decision and not in your control.

No matter how many times they try to take the blame, repeat that phrase OK? Because it's the truth.

Hugs my friend. I can't begin to imagine.

[spokewench]

BCI Pam - I'm so sorry for your family. Just don't know what to say. Hang in there.

[annie]

Pam,

How devastatingly sad for you and your family. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. You've had some wise advice already from some of the ladies here. I hope that will help you. I also hope you can feel the caring and concern that's here for you. You will need that in the days and weeks to come.

annie

[snapdragen]

I'm very sorry Pam. Take care of yourself, and your family. Blessings.

[Pedal Wench]

This touches home with me. Please comfort your sister and make sure she knows that she did the right thing in getting out and getting the one child out of that situation. I was married to an alcoholic and firmly believe that I saved my own life the day I walked out. I tried to save both of us, but when that didn't work, I had to save myself. The son will come to realize this in time.

And, for what it's worth, I have Travelers Ins - love them.

L-

[crazycanuck]

(((((pam))) Sending you some sunshine & good thoughts.

take care

c

[margo49]

In my thoughts and prayers
Sometimes life is one-thing-after-another it seems like
Flights usually keep back a seat or two for politicians or people in dire circumstances apparently. I found this out when I had to get from Israel to New Zealand when my brother died.

Keep on the Look-out for nice and pleasant little things (flowers, sunrises/sunsets,acts of kindness,songs, etc) to keep your perspective.

[LBTC]

Keep on the Look-out for nice and pleasant little things (flowers, sunrises/sunsets,acts of kindness,songs, etc) to keep your perspective.

I love this idea. And I can help. If you PM me your email address I'll add you to my list and you will get a photo a day. There are people on my list going through all sorts of things and I hear from them that the photo helps to lift their spirits....it's why I do it.

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[roguedog]

Much well wishing, healing thoughts and forgiveness vibes out to you and fam.

[hellosunshine]

allow youreself to feel every emotion,be true to yourself,its a ghastly time and surpressing things wont help because you feel you ought to,the beauty of this forum is you can be honest and unload and no one judges.we all care.xx

[lph]

aaww
Life sucks.

Angry can be good. Helps you feel on top of things, and better than just sinking into a stupor. As long as it goes away with time. Try to help him be angry at the depression or alcoholism that skewed this poor mans reasoning so terribly. Hang in there.

[Bad JuJu]

I'm so sorry for you and your family. I know firsthand what devastating effects alcoholism can have and how difficult it can be for the rest of the family. I'm not a woman of faith but I know you are, and I sincerely hope it's a comfort and support for you in this difficult time. I'm sending out compassion to all of you.

[East Hill]

I am very sorry to hear about that bcipam. Those are some big issues for you to deal with all at once. Don't ignore the advice to get some help--we don't want it to overwhelm you...because it IS overwhelming.

East Hill

[GLC1968]

Wow, Pam. I'm so very sorry for all you and your family are going through right now. You will all be in my thoughts.

Please take care of yourself.