DH Health Issues... How do you cope?

[Haudlady]

My DH had symptoms for a year that he ignored. I don't want to go into details because everybody's case is different. Just suffice to say that it was hell.

Here is how I coped:

1. Live one day at a time.
2. If you're going to make up scenarios, make up good ones. Why torture yourself?
3. Be proactive!!! If he needs further treatment, be there. Listen to what the doctors and nurses are saying. Ask questions. Write it down. You will need to be his advocate because stress makes people stupid. Be pushy. The medical community is overworked and mistakes are made.
4. Be extra good to yourself. Cycling is a great way to relieve stress.
5. Find somebody you can talk to about your "bad" feelings. Just airing them automatically cuts the power in half.

Be sure to keep us posted. Take good care.

Thank you, Dogmama! VERY good advice...

#2... I was hugging him last night, and found myself imagining him all happy and healthy inside (it seems a bit silly, maybe, but it can't hurt... and it might even help).

#3... Good idea to write it down! I'll bring a notebook to the appointment on the 12th. I wouldn't have thought of that! I really appreciate everyones tips about the prep, and about generally dealing with the process. Lots of good advice here!

#4... I'm trying. I'm notoriously frugal... and I sprung for a bottle of my favorite lotion just because it makes me feel nice. Also, I started doing yoga again every morning before work, so at least my body feels better.

#5... I guess this is the hardest one. DH doesn't want anyone to know about this at this point... all of my closest friends are also close to DH, so nobody for me to talk with right now. While I respect his choice not to share what's happening with anyone other than me, this is hard! I really want to talk with my stepmom, who is one of my best friends. I will say, though, that I am trying to have a cup of tea with her often right now... even if I can't talk about it, there is something soothing about sitting with her and a warm pot of tea between us.

I have (and DH is aware) 'talked' with my oldest friend (his mom and mine were best friends in high school, and he and I grew up together) in VERY vague terms. Unfortunately, he is in the Dominican Republic right now, so I can't talk with him for real (we have only exchanged emails, and it's NOT the same). He will be sailing back to Florida soon - I can't wait to get him on the phone.

[Dogmama]

Thank you, Dogmama! VERY good advice...

#2... I was hugging him last night, and found myself imagining him all happy and healthy inside (it seems a bit silly, maybe, but it can't hurt... and it might even help).

I learned Reiki and sent my DH energy. I cannot tell you if it worked, but many nurses are learning Reiki. There is power in energy and prayer.

Kim

[LBTC]

#2... I was hugging him last night, and found myself imagining him all happy and healthy inside (it seems a bit silly, maybe, but it can't hurt... and it might even help).

I do think this works. I tried it with my dear fur kid yogi when he was fighting cancer. I would massage him and cuddle with him and picture his healthy cells getting more robust and happy. Whether it helped him or not, I can't say, but I know he lived a lot longer than was expected; and I'm sure it helped me as it made me feel like I was actually doing something to help him.

If my DH was going through a health issue I would do the same in an instant.

And as for who to talk to, seriously we are here for you. If you'd rather PM than keep it out in the open, send me something. I haven't had the test yet, but have already been diagnosed (through another test) with Crohn's. I have a bit of an idea of what you DH might be going through, as do others on this board.

And I know how it is about needing to talk, too. I would seriously explode. Seriously.

Keep talking, keep hugging, and keep those positive thoughts going!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[Haudlady]

DH's 'consultation' is this afternoon at 3:00. I'm very nervous! I really wish I could talk freely about this, but I understand why DH wants to keep it private for now.

I hope we can get the colonoscopy scheduled soon! It's awful, LBTC, that you have to wait so long.

I just re-read the thread, and want to thank you all again for your support and advice. I have a (long) list of questions for the doctor, and plan to take notes! The doctor, I'm sure, will be shaking his head when he walks away from me.

[LBTC]

Sending loads of butterflies to you and your DH today Haudlady. Make sure you write down all of those questions you need to ask!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[KnottedYet]

The doctor won't be shaking his head, trust me! He'll be glad you're writing things down and asking questions.

[Pax]

Be firm with your doc today, mine is under such time restraints that she's trying to walk out the door before I'm through with my questions...I've learned to position myself between her and the door.

[margo49]

Best of...

[Duck on Wheels]

DH's 'consultation' is this afternoon at 3:00. I'm very nervous! I really wish I could talk freely about this, but I understand why DH wants to keep it private for now.

I hope we can get the colonoscopy scheduled soon! It's awful, LBTC, that you have to wait so long.

I just re-read the thread, and want to thank you all again for your support and advice. I have a (long) list of questions for the doctor, and plan to take notes! The doctor, I'm sure, will be shaking his head when he walks away from me.

No he won't. He'll be nodding to himself and saying "That guy's wife sure is on the ball."

[Offthegrid]

Just wanted to say best of luck to you today at the doctor, although there's been no testing yet. Please know that all of us are in that room with you, holding your hand in spirit, and wishing the best.

[ladyfish]

If you are going to think of "what if's" make them all very positive! I have had a few recent medical issues with my DH. During it all, I kept my normal "everything is just fine until I hear something different". This is always my attitude. Sometimes my DH thinks that means I don't care, but I explain to him that it is much better to think positive (he tends to run the other type scenarios thru his head). He's also in the Military and has been deployed to unsavory locations and shot at with a variety of arsenal. If I chose to think of the "worst" scenarios, I would be in the looney bin by now. Much better to think positive. It's worked for me so far!!!

As for your thyroid issue, don't forget about it. I had some thyroid issues. Didn't realize how much it was affecting me until I got everything fixed!!!

[LBTC]

Haudlady, How did the consult go? Did the doc answer your questions? Do you know when the tests will be? How are you feeling after this?

Here's hoping it went well and you have some good thoughts to focus on.

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~