DH Health Issues... How do you cope?

[Pax]

...I'm going to call his doctor's office right now. I know they won't tell me anything (for privacy reasons), but maybe I can get them to check on why the referral office hasn't called yet to set the appointment.

Morning Haudlady, just a thought...ask your DH if he would mind signing a Release of Information for you with his healthcare provider so they will talk to you freely. He can be as specific as he wants to be about what they can tell you and he can make the duration of the release for any length of time (usually no more than a year).

[Haudlady]

ask your DH if he would mind signing a Release of Information for you with his healthcare provider so they will talk to you freely.

Good point, Queen... it's especially complicated because DH works in a 'cube farm,' and doesn't want to talk about symptoms at work! I asked them about that when I called, and DH has to go into the clinic to the records department. We're going to do that soon!

Okay. Just as well I called the clinic this morning... DH went in for his original appointment on Wednesday... I told them at the clinic that I know they can't talk to me, but asked if someone could check through and see why no one has called yet to set the appointment for the colonoscopy... she looked, and looked, and kept asking me questions... I finally said "you are showing the order for this, right?" Um, NO!!! It's not in the notes that he needs it! Now I'm really glad I called. She's going to check back with the doctor - the doctor was VERY clear with DH that this was necessary. Apparently he wasn't clear with anyone else.

Why you have to be proactive... My goodness.

[Aggie_Ama]

You may see if you husband can authorize you on his behalf. It is easier for me to call my husband's doctors, so I am authorized. I have had some conversations that far cross the TMI line. Oops- just saw Queen suggested that.

For the colonoscopy prep, I got my husband UNSCENTED baby wipes. His hiney will be thankful.

[Haudlady]

I called the clinic this morning... DH went in for his original appointment on Wednesday... asked if someone could check through and see why no one has called yet to set the appointment for the colonoscopy... she looked, and looked, and kept asking me questions... I finally said "you are showing the order for this, right?" Um, NO!!! It's not in the notes that he needs it!

DH got a call this afternoon (I think that old saying is correct - about the squeaky wheel!). He has an appointment for a consultation on February 12th. So - I won't have any news until after that point. And, I am assuming that since it is only a consultation we won't have the procedure date for a little bit after that.

I know it's 'only' two weeks away... but it seems like a long time to wait!

Patience is a virtue.

[LBTC]

Haudlady, I'm so glad that he's got a date for the consult. Hopefully where you are the wait for the scope is not as long as here. I probably had a longer wait because I'm having both scopes done at the same session. I booked mine at the end of November, and will have them Feb 28. I'm really appreciating all the tips about the prep here, too.

The next two weeks will alternately crawl and fly by. Keep your spirits up, keep talking and hugging, and keep doing the things you always do. You'll be surprised when the day is here and you think back to how today seems like it was just yesterday.

Let us know how it goes.

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[Dogmama]

My DH had symptoms for a year that he ignored. I don't want to go into details because everybody's case is different. Just suffice to say that it was hell.

Here is how I coped:

1. Live one day at a time.
2. If you're going to make up scenarios, make up good ones. Why torture yourself?
3. Be proactive!!! If he needs further treatment, be there. Listen to what the doctors and nurses are saying. Ask questions. Write it down. You will need to be his advocate because stress makes people stupid. Be pushy. The medical community is overworked and mistakes are made.
4. Be extra good to yourself. Cycling is a great way to relieve stress.
5. Find somebody you can talk to about your "bad" feelings. Just airing them automatically cuts the power in half.

Be sure to keep us posted. Take good care.

[Haudlady]

My DH had symptoms for a year that he ignored. I don't want to go into details because everybody's case is different. Just suffice to say that it was hell.

Here is how I coped:

1. Live one day at a time.
2. If you're going to make up scenarios, make up good ones. Why torture yourself?
3. Be proactive!!! If he needs further treatment, be there. Listen to what the doctors and nurses are saying. Ask questions. Write it down. You will need to be his advocate because stress makes people stupid. Be pushy. The medical community is overworked and mistakes are made.
4. Be extra good to yourself. Cycling is a great way to relieve stress.
5. Find somebody you can talk to about your "bad" feelings. Just airing them automatically cuts the power in half.

Be sure to keep us posted. Take good care.

Thank you, Dogmama! VERY good advice...

#2... I was hugging him last night, and found myself imagining him all happy and healthy inside (it seems a bit silly, maybe, but it can't hurt... and it might even help).

#3... Good idea to write it down! I'll bring a notebook to the appointment on the 12th. I wouldn't have thought of that! I really appreciate everyones tips about the prep, and about generally dealing with the process. Lots of good advice here!

#4... I'm trying. I'm notoriously frugal... and I sprung for a bottle of my favorite lotion just because it makes me feel nice. Also, I started doing yoga again every morning before work, so at least my body feels better.

#5... I guess this is the hardest one. DH doesn't want anyone to know about this at this point... all of my closest friends are also close to DH, so nobody for me to talk with right now. While I respect his choice not to share what's happening with anyone other than me, this is hard! I really want to talk with my stepmom, who is one of my best friends. I will say, though, that I am trying to have a cup of tea with her often right now... even if I can't talk about it, there is something soothing about sitting with her and a warm pot of tea between us.

I have (and DH is aware) 'talked' with my oldest friend (his mom and mine were best friends in high school, and he and I grew up together) in VERY vague terms. Unfortunately, he is in the Dominican Republic right now, so I can't talk with him for real (we have only exchanged emails, and it's NOT the same). He will be sailing back to Florida soon - I can't wait to get him on the phone.

[Dogmama]

Thank you, Dogmama! VERY good advice...

#2... I was hugging him last night, and found myself imagining him all happy and healthy inside (it seems a bit silly, maybe, but it can't hurt... and it might even help).

I learned Reiki and sent my DH energy. I cannot tell you if it worked, but many nurses are learning Reiki. There is power in energy and prayer.

Kim

[LBTC]

#2... I was hugging him last night, and found myself imagining him all happy and healthy inside (it seems a bit silly, maybe, but it can't hurt... and it might even help).

I do think this works. I tried it with my dear fur kid yogi when he was fighting cancer. I would massage him and cuddle with him and picture his healthy cells getting more robust and happy. Whether it helped him or not, I can't say, but I know he lived a lot longer than was expected; and I'm sure it helped me as it made me feel like I was actually doing something to help him.

If my DH was going through a health issue I would do the same in an instant.

And as for who to talk to, seriously we are here for you. If you'd rather PM than keep it out in the open, send me something. I haven't had the test yet, but have already been diagnosed (through another test) with Crohn's. I have a bit of an idea of what you DH might be going through, as do others on this board.

And I know how it is about needing to talk, too. I would seriously explode. Seriously.

Keep talking, keep hugging, and keep those positive thoughts going!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~