Speeding Tickets...

[Mr. Bloom]

OK, so today Silver, DS, and I spend six hours in the car to see our daughter in a competition near Indy. Half way there, I'm pulled over for speeding.

So, the polite officer steps up and asks why I'm going so fast. My response is: "we really need to get to Danville (period, end of statement). So, while he's back in the police car, Silver says: "why didn't you say that we've got to get to our daughter's competition and really need to get there!"

Well, to my viewpoint, I'm thinking: "I know the rules, I got busted, I pay the price..." However, I know that Silver has often talked herself out of tickets...

I'm wondering: Is it the type of car I drive - a Lexus? Is it that male officers will give male drivers a ticket more readily, but may cut some slack for a woman?

This is a sincere curiousity. I've driven for 23 years and never had a ticket until the last 1.5 years...and this one is my third!

What experiences have you had with getting pulled over?

[crazycanuck]

Mr Silver...

I don't think it would have made a difference had Silver been driving the car.

As a female driver, I don't think i'm treated any differently than say when Ian (my dear) drives. (I am on a provisional licence until May as i obtained my licence just before coming to Australia.)

You're lucky you don't live in Western Australia & get caught on a long weekend. Double demerit points, double the fine. No if's and's or but's.

Can I ask you the following q-Do you think the speed limit is just a suggestion? I sometimes wonder if i'm the only one driving the speed limit.

Ps-I've only been stopped once but that was Ian's fault and he'll never live it down. For any Kiwis out there-He made me drive over the harbour bridge in Auckland BUT i'd only been driving a very very short time.. They pulled me over as i was going a bit slow & there were reports of a drunk driver!!!

[Wahine]

I have been able to talk my way out of every speeding ticket except one. You just have to bat the eyelashes the right way and you're off the hook. Oh, the one that I didn't get off of... it was a male cop with a female partner looking over his shoulder and once she headed back to the cruiser he started in on the small talk etc. I'm sure I could've gotten out of that ticket too if the female partner wasn't in the picture.

Yes, I use my feminine whiles to get me out of fixes, to get me free stuff and generally make life a little easier. I say, if the boys are willing to fall for it...

My DH even takes advantage of it. If he has a sporting goods part that needs replacing or some work, he sends me in to do it because he knows that there's a better chance that it will get done for free. He just sits in the car and waits.

Yes, I am shameless when it comes to these things.

[East Hill]

My DH even takes advantage of it. If he has a sporting goods part that needs replacing or some work, he sends me in to do it because he knows that there's a better chance that it will get done for free. He just sits in the car and waits.

Yes, I am shameless when it comes to these things.

I hope he doesn't send you in when it comes to getting repairs on cars done. It's pretty well known that women get ripped off big time by repair shops.

Mr. Silver, I've never gotten a ticket in my life. On the other hand, I don't take the speed limit as a suggestion. If anything, I drive under the speed limit (because I want to save fuel). I don't imagine being female has anything to do with following the speed limit. Or perhaps it does?

At any rate, I can't really give you much of an answer .

East Hill

[Mr. Bloom]

Yes, I use my feminine whiles to get me out of fixes, to get me free stuff and generally make life a little easier. I say, if the boys are willing to fall for it...

Yes, I am shameless when it comes to these things.

This is precisely what Silver successfully admits doing and she's been pulled over many more times than I have...plus she has a southern accent to boot!

I don't begrudge using the "feminine whiles"...I'm frankly surprised that the cops are influenced by it...

On a sidenote, in 1985 we bought a new car. It totally disarmed the salesman when Silver was under the hood talking about "rack and pinion" this and that...and I was in the car playing with the stereo. Silver negotiated a deal that we couldn't refuse on price...how do I know? Well, at one point, the sales manager said to her "don't I need to be talking to your husband?" With the value of the trade-in, I'm absolutely convinced that they lost money on the deal, simply because the guy didn't know how to deal with a woman!

[Aggie_Ama]

Well I have not had the luck my husband has had. Most of the time he has been pulled over for inspection being out of date, but he got a written warning for 9 months overdue!

I have gotten my fair share of warnings (ummm, I have a lead foot). I also got two tickets. One was only 7 miles over on a lonely stretch of highway. I was getting back to my university after driving 2 hours to have a dress fitted for my brother's wedding.

The other I very rightly deserved, 18 over in Oklahoma. Of course I didn't have a chance with Texas plates and a Texas A&M sticker in NORMAN, OK (home of OU).

I did get a warning for 15 miles over next to a school (not a school zone time, but school was in). I bawled because I was late to high school, got off.

Of course, I never talk my way out. I cry when I can't control the situation so I am usually bawling.

[Triskeliongirl]

What I think is interesting, is the different way men and women handle these situations. Sure, there are situations where women use their sexuality to advantage if a male cop so chooses to go there, BUT, I agree with silver, why didn't you tell him you were in a rush to see your daughter's performance. What astounds me is that you didn't even try to get out of the ticket. My husband is the same way if he is pulled over, he doesn't say anything and accepts the ticket. I would at least try to argue, explain why I was in a rush, beg forgiveness (oh please officer, I am very sorry, I needed to pick up my daughter at school, I won't do it again if you could please just five me a warning this time....). In this case I don't think I am using my sexuality, but I am playing into the male power thing, I recognize that he has the power in this situation to issue a citation or not, so I swallow my pride and bow to that power to avoid the fine. Sometimes it seems all they want is for you to *talk* to them. Are men just unwilling to do that?

[Veronica]

What astounds me is that you didn't even try to get out of the ticket. My husband is the same way if he is pulled over, he doesn't say anything and accepts the ticket. I would at least try to argue, explain why I was in a rush, beg forgiveness (oh please officer, I am very sorry, I needed to pick up my daughter at school, I won't do it again if you could please just five me a warning this time....).

Maybe they realize they WERE BREAKING THE LAW.

It's all part of taking responsibility for your choices.

V.

[mimitabby]

Mr Silver, were you driving that RED sports car in your avatar? Cops see a red flag when cars like this go by. Certain persons I know who tend to get speeding tickets notice that they get less of them when they are not in showy red cars.

Advice; break down and start crying.
No, actually, with Silver IN the car with you the best thing that could
have happened was for her to start telling you off loudly in front of the cop.
I know a man who got off when that happened. The cop said to him
"buddy, you have enough troubles already" and gave him a warning.

my DH has been close to getting his license suspended more than once in our marriage because of speeding tickets. Sometimes the officer is hot already and there is nothing you can do. Sometimes, just being contrite makes a difference.
One of Dh's best recent stories was:
the police officer pulled him over and huffed up to the window 'Do you know how fast you were driving?"
"yes, 45 mph" DH responded.
"You were driving 45 mph!" then he looks at DH, surprised, blinks, and says "do we have an attitude??"
Dh replies, "uh, no, I didn't have an attitude, but if you keep wasting my time with these questions, I'm going to GET an attitude"
He knew at this point he was going to get a ticket anyway... which he did.

[mudmucker]

I will never ever ever use my feminine wiles when I get pulled over. I refuse to use such tactics as I feel I would insult my own personal integrity. Over the last 10 years I must have gotten pulled over either for speeding or "rolling" through suburban or rural stop signs about 12 times. Ahem, yes that is alot. (There is an ongoing joke here in MA, that Massachusetts drivers drive like Ma**holes.) I'm guilty. Only once during these years have I been issued a ticket and that is when there was an actual highway speed trap set during a morning commute and several others were caught as well. My approach to getting pulled over is to remain quiet and matter of fact, and make no excuses.

As for being pulled over; I'm not sure it's always a car thing. I have a green Subaru Outback with a roof rack. However in my cases, yes, I was speeding.

My thinking is that these guys have heard every excuse in the book and don't feel like hearing it again. When they ask "do you know why you were pulled over" I say, "I think I have a pretty good idea". I don't bat the proverbial eyelash because of the integrity thing but also that they would certainly see through it and not fall for it and/or get angry for trying to do so. As it is their job to be stern, they are pretty curt, pissy, and with attitude when they approach the car so why aggravate it. However, my result is that they give me a warning, I thank them as I take back my license and reg, and drive off.

I end up getting free stuff sometimes. It usually happens when I just create a dialog making sure I don't come off like a "know it all". I get a free stuff from my bike shop alot. I do know some things that might be considered more male. For example I got some free stuff at a flyfishing shop after I was talking fly tying with the proprietor. I get reduced prices at my local construction home supply place, and at my local car mechanic. Now I would expect that male comradery would play here more. In the above cases I believe it is more a "you are local and supporting your local farmer" comradery. In the flyfishing case I suspect it might have been because I was female.

[Wahine]

I will never ever ever use my feminine wiles when I get pulled over. I refuse to use such tactics as I feel I would insult my own personal integrity.

My approach to getting pulled over is to remain quiet and matter of fact, and make no excuses.

My thinking is that these guys have heard every excuse in the book and don't feel like hearing it again. When they ask "do you know why you were pulled over" I say, "I think I have a pretty good idea". I don't bat the proverbial eyelash because of the integrity thing but also that they would certainly see through it and not fall for it and/or get angry for trying to do so. As it is their job to be stern, they are pretty curt, pissy, and with attitude when they approach the car so why aggravate it. However, my result is that they give me a warning, I thank them as I take back my license and reg, and drive off.

I don't actually bat my eyelashes or anything else, like show clevage. I do exactly what you are saying. But I think that playing into the male power thing, telling them they are right and how sorry I am, is using my feminine whiles. Also, I'm not a showboat by any means, but I have a clean cut girl next door kind of look that doesn't hurt.

I have a lot of pride and I would never do anything to degrade myself. Hey, I don't even even wear make-up. So it's not a being made up and showing things off issue. It's how I communicate with the officer.

DH on the other hand, always argues and gets defensive and he always get a ticket.

[Mr. Bloom]

DH on the other hand, always argues and gets defensive and he always get a ticket.

My tendency is to argue...but I don't in a situation like this. I could rationalize...there was no one on the road...I wasn't being 'unsafe' (however that's defined)...and frankly, I think the cop deserves respect for doing the job they're paid to do...a dangerous one at that.

[mimitabby]

So were you driving the RED CAR?

[Veronica]

The red car is a Mercedes. He said it was in a Lexus - therefore not in THAT red car.

V.

[snapdragen]

I haven't been pulled over since I was 17 or 18 years old. One speeding ticket, one check to be sure I wasn't casing some apartments that had been hit by burglers a few times (I was dropping a friend off).

Never got a ticket in my red car, sorry mimi! I don't believe the red cars are cop magnets. I was ticketed in my mothers bomb of a buick .