something i'd like to know? (re: housework)

[kelownagirl]

I'm glad that this approach seems to have worked for you. However, I think if I took this approach with Silver or vice versa, then fireworks may have resulted. Don't misunderstand...I like the list idea, but comparing you vs. him...well, I'm not sure that would work with everyone.

Personally, I'd suggest simply listing the tasks and making it clear that you need his help in sharing the burden equally.

Just my humble opinion...

Most of that was tongue in cheek actually Mr. S. But honestly, in my first marriage, at one point I really did sit down and make a list of everything I did because he just didn't get it. I think for many men, it's the way they're brought up. It's tough for them to see another point of view, that women weren't put on this earth to serve them.

[Mr. Bloom]

Most of that was tongue in cheek actually Mr. S. But honestly, in my first marriage, at one point I really did sit down and make a list of everything I did because he just didn't get it. I think for many men, it's the way they're brought up. It's tough for them to see another point of view, that women weren't put on this earth to serve them.

Sorry for thinking you were serious, but you're right. My mother came home from work every night, cooked dinner, washed dishes, and on weekends did laundry. She had a cleaning woman for other stuff...If I were to look to that role model...I wouldn't have known better. Silver's mother was exactly the same.

[mimitabby]

Aggie,
my mother married a first generation american that she met in Texas, so first he was spoiled by his aristocratic polish bourgeois mother, and then by his first wife, a texas born and bred stay at home mom.
My mother has trained him to vacuum, load the dishwasher and MAKE HIS OWN LUNCH. This dude is 80 (they were about 55 when they got married)
so it CAN be done.
My mother still complains about all that she has to do, but you can get your man to help out...

He's got it way too easy.

[Aggie_Ama]

Native Texan , married to a native Texan. He was raised by his mother after his parents divorced in a home with a Texas Hill Country bred stepfather. His stepdad does a lot of things for them. I have seen my stepfather-in-law wash dishes, repairing things, making dinner, etc... I think my mother-in-law trained him though. It isn't where you are born, it is how you were raised. My father-in-law pretty much only tends to the yard and the grill, but my husband didn't grow up in his house.

We divide the housework. Honestly, my DH does more than his fair share when his job requires 5-10 more than mine a week. I do the bills and slack on almost everything else. I do all the cooking, unless it involves the grill. The onyl thing DH hasn't done in the 5 years we have lived together is clean a toilet (I do that).

My uncle is getting us a knew kitchen sink and faucet and was asking me what I wanted. I told him "I don't know, C does most of the dished. We should ask him!"

[Crankin]

Well, my husband's mother did everything for all 4 kids and his dad (who looks helpless when he is confronted with making a sandwich), but my husband came into our marriage willing to do everything equally. It's really an equity issue. When we were first married, we actually had a list and schedule of all household tasks on the fridge. I have lightened up considerably. We are both clean and tidy, but my husband is super tidy, almost anal. I am a bit of a secret slob , like don't look in my dresser drawers. I just couldn't be married to someone who expected me to come home and do everything. My dad always came home, did child care, gave my mom time to herself, even in the fifties.
Maybe if couples discussed this before they married or moved in together, and then re-evaluated on a regular basis, there would be less of an issue. But, I guess they're all thinking about those $20,000 weddings!

[mimitabby]

Well, my husband's mother did everything for all 4 kids and his dad (who looks helpless when he is confronted with making a sandwich), but my husband came into our marriage willing to do everything equally. It's really an equity issue. When we were first married, we actually had a list and schedule of all household tasks on the fridge. I have lightened up considerably. We are both clean and tidy, but my husband is super tidy, almost anal. I am a bit of a secret slob , like don't look in my dresser drawers. I just couldn't be married to someone who expected me to come home and do everything. My dad always came home, did child care, gave my mom time to herself, even in the fifties.
Maybe if couples discussed this before they married or moved in together, and then re-evaluated on a regular basis, there would be less of an issue. But, I guess they're all thinking about those $20,000 weddings!

lol. if my husband looked helpless when confronted with making a sandwich, he would have starved 25 years ago!!!