Suggestions to avoid a divorce!

[7rider]

Thanks for all the great advice! I think I may use a combination. He doesn't like to ride a bicycle--at all. He could certainly use the exercise. He's a wonderful man, and I know he won't really be mad. He just won't understand. I tried this evening saying, "Would you consider going out into the woods on trails on a mt. bike to just see the scenery and do some easy riding?" The answer was a roll of the eyes and a polite but emphatic no. I think I'll just work that into the conversation a bit more from time to time and explain that I'd like to do that as well as ride on the road. All he wants to do is play golf. And that's fine. I'll remind him that there are 14 clubs in his bag---wouldn't one do??? Doesn't that sound good??? Mr. Silver????

Oh, and no, he really wouldn't throw me out.

Have you taken delivery of the bike yet, or is it still at the shop?
You could take him for a walk in the woods, explaining "This would really be a whole lot faster and more fun if we were on bikes!"

Like BJJ and others, DH and I maintain separate accounts for our own use - joint acct for household stuff. If he wants toys, he can get them....after his other financial obligations are met. Of course, since we are both cyclists (and skiers), we tend to be major enablers for each other in that department!

[Aint Doody]

Regina, that's a good idea, but I know he'd not even want to go on a walk. But I'll try. The bike isn't here yet. I can probably put in the house--dining room--and he won't even notice. Then I can say--This old thing? I've had it a long time.

Susan

[IFjane]

Since golf clubs can also be quite expensive, I think a 1:1 ratio of bikes to golf clubs is in order!

[Irulan]

I fear my husband will throw me out! Maybe he won't notice??!!

I guess I'll never understand the spending of joint funds without discussing the purchase first. imsho, if you've made a substantial purchase out of joint funds without discussing, it, you should feel bad. Hiding purchases does not contribute to a serene marriage. Wouldn't it be better to build support for biking in your relationship, and plan your purchases?

[Aint Doody]

Pardon me, but this original post was mostly in fun. I don't feel bad one bit.

[Irulan]

well I must have missed the smileys then...

[Susan126]

Congratulations Susan . . . and I really enjoyed reading all the GREAT advise from everyone. Some of the advise really made me chuckle! But hey, don't forget to post a picture of you on your bike . . . maybe with a little mud splashed all over You will love riding in the woods as much as the road. I love both . . . they each have their special "high" for me!

"The very existence of the bicycle is an offense to reason and wisdom."
J. O'Rourke

[Aint Doody]

Thanks, Susan, and everybody. I enjoyed laughing at the suggestions as well. I guess I'll have to wait a little while for the mud--there's mostly snow on the trails right now. But I'm excited to get out in the woods. One other question -- the fellow at the lbs suggested that I don't put on clipless pedals right away. What do y'all think? I've been clipless on my road bike for years. I guess I'm sorta changing the thread. Maybe I'll post this on the mt. bike thread.

[spokewench]

Spending money, separate accounts, etc. This is really a touchy subject in my long time marriage with Hubby. My hubby is basically VERY frugal. We have managed to enable each other with bike stuff since we are both into riding. So that has not seemed to cause many problems; but smaller things can get a bit dicey sometimes. He likes to try to make me feel guilty about spending money (not that i'm a spendthrift) but sometimes it is for something he does not understand and then he tries to make me feel guilty.

Just recently, I told him that I was taking some tennis lessons and he immediately was very defensive and wanted to know HOW MUCH IS THAT? Well, I told him, and he was obviously not very pleased. So, now I'm just trying to ignore him.

He is not working full time and has not been for a year and a half. I work full time to make sure we can pay all our bills and I am still saving money; so I figure I can spend my money on tennis for a while if I want to.

I have to say, if I am going to buy a bike, or something that is over say $300, then I will tell him what I am planning to do. We usually talk those larger purchases out before we go and buy them. There are some exceptions, like when he buys a tool of some sort. I've always wondered why that is an exception to him, but it is and to tell you the truth I really don't care so I don't say anything. (It only gets to me a little because he can be so goofy about something like tennis lessons!)

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Hiding purchases does not contribute to a serene marriage.

She's right, Susan. Besides, it's not easy to hide a bike.
But wait...maybe if you get the XXXL bike skort from Terry you can hide the bike underneath it as you ride. If you don't ring your bell or turn on your lights it might look like you are just serenely gliding down the street in a long skirt...

[mimitabby]

But wait...maybe if you get the XXXL bike skort from Terry you can hide the bike underneath it as you ride. If you don't ring your bell or turn on your lights it might look like you are just serenely gliding down the street in a long skirt...

LOL!

[Aint Doody]

Lisa! What a great idea! I'd love to gggllllliiiiidddeee!!! How funny.....

[BikeMomma]

She's right, Susan. Besides, it's not easy to hide a bike.
But wait...maybe if you get the XXXL bike skort from Terry you can hide the bike underneath it as you ride. If you don't ring your bell or turn on your lights it might look like you are just serenely gliding down the street in a long skirt...

Doing this on Halloween while wearing ALL white would be wicked....great way to scare the kiddies (the bully ones, of course)!

Leave it to my sick noggin....
~BikeMomma