Suggestions to avoid a divorce!

[Bad JuJu]

I've gone through this kind of thing with my dh, too. I finally just had to realize for myself and then explain to him that since I get up and go to work every day, and I have a regular saving plan, and I'm not overextended financially, then if I want another bike I'll bloody well buy another bike.

Of course this works for us because we have always, in 25+ years of marriage, maintained separate financial accounts. Sure, we pay the mortgage and other household expenses together, but for all other money, to each his/her own. So if you have your own money and you're not deep in debt, what's the big deal?

And of course, he still razzes me for having too many bikes (3, and one's a cheap cruiser), but I can stand that.

[lph]

We have separate accounts too, but have a joint account to pay all the bills. Original post was just joking, right? With our set-up I can go buy anything I like, if that's what I want to use my own money on.

(But I do get black looks when I sneak Bike into our very narrow hall overnight to thaw and dry out, as it makes it practically impossible to get in or out... I usually wait til really late, when he's not going to go out in the hall anymore ;-) )

[mimitabby]

I encourage couples to have a predetermined spending limit that requires consultation. If you want to buy something over say $400, then you will consult one another first. But if it costs $399, no consultation is necessary. This places value on the individual's rights while noting respect for the value of the partnership in managing budgetary issues.

we have a deal like this too. Used to be $50 when we were poor, now it's $250.00

I had to set that rule because my DH is very impulsive. Worse, sometimes the expensive things would be GIFTS for me, which made it really ugly.
Yes, it's beautiful and I love this, but that $$ was supposed to do X...

[Bad JuJu]

Original post was just joking, right?

Yes, I assumed the original post was largely joking, though it did bring up an issue that many of us face at home--how to finance our cycling habit! So it's interesting to be able to discuss our strategies and *ahem* tricks.

[lph]

I had to set that rule because my DH is very impulsive. Worse, sometimes the expensive things would be GIFTS for me, which made it really ugly.
Yes, it's beautiful and I love this, but that $$ was supposed to do X...

Oh, right. Yeah, I can see it could get kind of uncomfortable if my dh went and bought something horrifically expensive, which meant that he then had no money to... go on vacation with us for, for example. We don't save up or budget ahead for that kind of thing.

[DarcyInOregon]

Last year I met the wife of the LBS owner. He owns one road bike. She owns five different bikes, all of which she uses. She said she was going to tell me something very wise and to pass it on to other bicyclists. Here is what she said: "When people come up to you and ask you why you own five bikes, you say, because I haven't purchased my sixth bike yet."

Darcy

[Mr. Bloom]

Here is what she said: "When people come up to you and ask you why you own five bikes, you say, because I haven't purchased my sixth bike yet."

Darcy

Now that's a woman who knows what she thinks. I'd like her!

[silver]

Just how much? You know I only have TWO bikes. Maybe I need to be more like her!!!

[Thistle]

Whisper in his ear how you just really want to get DIRTY!

LOL best response ever

[Aint Doody]

Thanks for all the great advice! I think I may use a combination. He doesn't like to ride a bicycle--at all. He could certainly use the exercise. He's a wonderful man, and I know he won't really be mad. He just won't understand. I tried this evening saying, "Would you consider going out into the woods on trails on a mt. bike to just see the scenery and do some easy riding?" The answer was a roll of the eyes and a polite but emphatic no. I think I'll just work that into the conversation a bit more from time to time and explain that I'd like to do that as well as ride on the road. All he wants to do is play golf. And that's fine. I'll remind him that there are 14 clubs in his bag---wouldn't one do??? Doesn't that sound good??? Mr. Silver????

Oh, and no, he really wouldn't throw me out.

[annie]

I can very much relate to your situation. My DH doesn't ride either, much tho' I've tried to get him interested. He doesn't really understand why I NEED a bike for the road (actually two bikes), one for off-road, one for touring, etc. He does golf, a bit. I acutally wish he was more into golfing. Maybe then we could do some trade-offs....... In any case, I knew he wouldn't be angry when I got my MTB, he'd just roll his eyes, make a snide comment, then let it be. He did so. I let it pass. I still have the bike. Could set a precedent for getting more bikes in the future. Like you said, not mad, just does not understand. As long as you accept each others interests, it works out. Hope you get your bike soon.

annie

[Aint Doody]

Gee, Annie--are we married to the same man? Is his name Kris???

Susan

[annie]

LOLOLOL!! I couldn't decide which thread to respond to. No, not Kris. Whew, TG, or he'd have to be traveling at the speed of sound to take care of both of us.

annie

[mimitabby]

After telling my DH about this thread he said I can turn my cross bike into a MTB so I can ride on unpaved trails (gravel, etc)

[Mr. Bloom]

All he wants to do is play golf. And that's fine. I'll remind him that there are 14 clubs in his bag---wouldn't one do??? Doesn't that sound good??? Mr. Silver????

Oh, and no, he really wouldn't throw me out.

First, I'm glad that he wouldn't throw you out...Silver said it appeared that I thought you were serious...I didn't. So, sorry if my response came across as intense...but misunderstandings like this can really fester in a marriage.

On a lighter note, I LOVE the golf club analogy! I'm not a golfer (it's too slow and boring to me), but that is an outstanding comparison that can't be debated