What does turning 40 mean to you?

[Tuckervill]

Unfortunately, in our society the only age that is good is the young one.

Well, I'd say that's a matter of opinion!

There are 4 pages of posts here that disagree with yours.

Karen

[Meaux]

Well, I'd say that's a matter of opinion!

There are 4 pages of posts here that disagree with yours.

Karen

I guess what I meant was that pop culture thinks that.

[tygab]

Meaux, it's easy to see it this way, which I think makes it particularly hard to be someone transitioning out of the 20s into 'everything else.' I think the buzz/hype around youth is two-fold.

First, I think this in large part a product of the entertainment media. If you step away from the light of entertainment (including most professional sports) world, the 'real life' interactions between 20somethings and older people mostly favor the older people. The older people are usually the ones with more power, money, and stability through social bonds to family, colleagues, and social organizations. In other words, in day-to-day life, it's the older people who usually have what the younger people want [even though they might not admit it - I mean stability, ugh, that sounds so boring!].

I am in tech, and rode the Internet wave as a fresh college grad in the mid 90s. The late 90s were so interesting with the dotcom era because for a while this dynamic was tantalizingly flipped around with recent college graduates (or dropouts) or otherwise generally not qualified people left and right founding the next great thing company. Of course, why the VCs went for this so often I've no idea, but they were acting like the entertainment industry, motivated more out of fear of being left behind than what was necessary to build stability.

Well, that didn't last. It couldn't - the leadership & life experience to create organizations with longevity was largely lacking. A few companies (and their founders) made it perhaps due to a combination of luck, some truly breakthrough tech, or sheer perseverance, but most failed. And people in blue-suit traditional companies either looked on with bemusement at what was going on, or wondered if they were missing out.

The entertainment industry is one place in our society where life experience doesn't usually mean a whole lot, at least on the public side. What seems to matter most is cornering 'the next big thing' under your label, in your movie, on your team etc.

The 2nd part is I think young adults (loosely defined as late teens through mid twenties) are particularly influenced by pop culture - because at that age we are for the first time able to make our own choices yet so unsure of what choices to make. It take some time to sort this out and get on a path of any kind. Most of us will continue to reevaluate and adjust this throughout our lives, but we'll do so with some perspective and hindsight as a foundation.

I guess, what I mean is - if one wants to see a society that values youth seemingly above all else, pop culture is a ready way to do that. But if one wants to see a society that values age and wisdom and life experience, that's just as available. So, I'd ask why do you care about what the pop culture portrays

[Meaux]

I don't understand why I am being attacked for complimenting everyone here. I don't particularly care about what pop culture says and thinks, I was mostly stating a point. The general culture is youth-obsessed and I think it's very sad.

[emily_in_nc]

I don't understand why I am being attacked for complimenting everyone here. I don't particularly care about what pop culture says and thinks, I was mostly stating a point. The general culture is youth-obsessed and I think it's very sad.

I agree with you! Why else would plastic surgery, Botox, etc. be so prevalent now? Because so many of us in our 40s, 50s, and beyond want to look younger, to deny who we are becoming with the passing years. I wish we could all just age in peace and not feel compelled to look 30 again. It can put a tremendous amount of pressure on those of us who choose not to go the unnatural route. Then again, who am I to talk -- as so many others on here, I color my hair.

I think the women who have posted here have amply demonstrated that aging is not such a terrible thing after all, no matter what society/pop culture might think. We're healthy, fit, and feeling good about being in our 40s+. I think the whole entertainment industry (TV/movies/music) is playing a very insidious role in our lives when so many women our age feel that we must look years younger than we are. I've got two friends in their mid 40s who have both had several cosmetic surgeries already....while I'm certainly not ready to join them, it does make me wonder if when we get together in our 50s and 60s, I'll look 10-15 years older than them. Why do I care??? Because I too am a part of this culture we live in and I can't say I am totally immune to its influence. For those of you who can, I applaud you!

Emily

[KnottedYet]

I used to treat patients with botched plastic surgeries. (so bad they needed physical therapy!) Plastic surgery fell way down my list of "fun things" then.

I had a friend who was a nurse for a plastic surgeon. I went to her work a couple times, and the staff (who all got free surgery as a perk) creeped me out. They looked unnatural. Too perfect to be real. The receptionist looked like she was staring into a high wind her face was so tight.

I will tell you that an active healthy woman looks "younger" than one who has had a ton of plastic surgery. Watch the way she moves, her posture, how she breathes. It's really amazing what you see once you look beyond the "beauty" the media teaches us to fixate on.

Now, I'm not knocking reconstructive plastic surgery. I'm talking the kind where a perfectly nice-looking woman decides she needs to look "better".

[tygab]

I don't understand why I am being attacked for complimenting everyone here. I don't particularly care about what pop culture says and thinks, I was mostly stating a point. The general culture is youth-obsessed and I think it's very sad.

Hi Meaux, I'm sorry if it sounded like I was attacking you, certainly did not mean to be. I guess I didn't do a good job of explaining my thoughts. I was trying to say that I think we can see what we want to see in society and focus on what we want to focus on. I see a general culture that is 'age and wisdom obsessed', at least for all things unrelated to physical appearance. So for me getting older and wiser is a good thing!

[jobob]

Well, a very Happy Birthday to you Bluetree, err, 1 day late.

Howya doin?

[LadyinWhite]

I just turned 42 and can honestly say I'm more content now than I've ever been. Content with who I am as a human being.

Sure - I'll continue to work on improving my career, my fitness, my cycling, my parenting, my education.. etc etc ad naseum.

BUT - right now, today, in this moment - I've accepted myself - cellulite and all. I think it takes a good 20 years past turning 20 to learn true self acceptance and how to roll with it, how not to sweat the small stuff.

Bad hair cut? It'll grow out. Burned Thanksgiving dinner? There's always next year. Disasterous family vacation? Ah well, what can you do, try again ---- or not

A little life wisdom is worth the price of turning 40. I can't wait to see what I've learned by 50... 60..