HOW DARE YOU!!!!

Pies have feelings, too. Imagine if you were a pie, lovingly crafted and baked to perfection, a symbol of Americana, smelling sweetly, innocent, waiting to be partaken upon by the hard-working and faithful Thom...

Then you find yourself unceremoniously stabbed by a stainless steel knife... carved up into neat slices... pieces of you torn apart...
goopy apple sauce dripping down fingers...
sweet apple chunks slowly... falling... onto... the... plate....

Oh heck... I'll help you eat it