Should Men be allowed in a Women's Forum?

[SouthernBelle]

I can't help but throw this in after the mentions of discrimination and lawsuits. Discrimination is not per se illegal. Distasteful maybe. It isn't illegal to have men's clubs or women's clubs.

Augusta National (as it was previously mentioned) is a men's club. Not illegal.

I think a better analogy is that of a locker room.

[margo49]

I was surprised to say the least when Mr Silver started posting about topics other than Silver's accident and recovery.
I am even more surprised at his posting on this topic and explaining himself. In my (misspent??) youth a Real (New) Man would not be caught dead in Women's Space. He would be too respectful of it. (And if he was another sort of man -sexist,regular or a parasitic liberal; he *would* be caught dead you can bet on it)
Puzzlement, as Queen put it.
That said... I spent a while one evening looking at some military websites prior to my son's enlistment. I arrived by a chance click and lurked about on a Very Strange Forum for Gung-ho Special Forces. It piqued my curiosity I admit but after 20 min I had had enough. So I imagine men who get to TE would do the same - unless they are posting about a specific TE member who has crashed or is ill or needs our input in whatever form (prayer, thoughts, advice, knowledge or equipment) in an emergency.

I love the atmosphere here, and the wide variety of women , the humour and the incredible support and advice offered to one another .(I think back to my War Reports of the summer) .

I personally have a very detailed conception of separatism and modesty (which I have spent the last 25 years refining I might add!) and the all-women /only women nature of TE suits me.

$0.02

Added with this edit: I see Mr Silver has 65 posts and a "rate" of 4 per day. Whaaat? If my SO was posting this much on TE I would sure have a few questions, accompanied by much hand gesturing. I like my privacy and respect yours-all's too.

[Blueberry]

I can't help but throw this in after the mentions of discrimination and lawsuits. Discrimination is not per se illegal. Distasteful maybe. It isn't illegal to have men's clubs or women's clubs.

Easy there - it was a joke (as evidenced by the many smilies!!!)

However, it is a valid observation that if women were excluded under questionable circumstances it's entirely possible that someone would raise the issue. We're a litigious society. It's why I have a job.

And yes, discrimination *is* per se illegal in many contexts (e.g. sorry, we're not going to hire you because you're female). This, however, does not apply to message boards...

*going back to lurkdom now....*

[Brandi]

I think at this point Mr Silver might be scared away from us. I like him and don't mind if he stays. He seems to know where not to go etc...

[mimitabby]

I think at this point Mr Silver might be scared away from us. I like him and don't mind if he stays. He seems to know where not to go etc...

I don't think he's been scared off. He reminds me of a cat. Smart, sensitive and alert. He's probably treading lightly on his paw pads. and he should be.

[Veronica]

We really can't vote him off the island. This being a public forum and all.

Every new person changes the flavor of the forum slightly.

If Nanci hadn't joined we'd never know anything about snakes.

If Trekhawk hadn't joined, I'd have one less definition of mate.

If SK and jobob hadn't joined, there would be no Amici Veloci.

I too have wondered why Mr. Silver wanted to hang around. But it's probably the same reason anyone else hangs around. We enjoy the camaraderie and the support. Where else could I just blurt out that I am absolutely pissed that the thieves took our spare change container. How lame is that?

Anyway...I wish it would warm up to at least 40 F. This cold is not good for my knees. Yeah, that's why I'm not riding in the cold. It really has nothing to do with being a wuss.

V.

[Brandi]

We really can't vote him off the island. This being a public forum and all.

Every new person changes the flavor of the forum slightly.

If Nanci hadn't joined we'd never know anything about snakes.

If Trekhawk hadn't joined, I'd have one less definition of mate.

If SK and jobob hadn't joined, there would be no Amici Veloci.

I too have wondered why Mr. Silver wanted to hang around. But it's probably the same reason anyone else hangs around. We enjoy the camaraderie and the support. Where else could I just blurt out that I am absolutely pissed that the thieves took our spare change container. How lame is that?

Anyway...I wish it would warm up to at least 40 F. This cold is not good for my knees. Yeah, that's why I'm not riding in the cold. It really has nothing to do with being a wuss.

V.

You are no wuss! There are no wusses here!

[snapdragen]

Hmm. I thought Mr Silver's battle cry and comments about it being testosterone fueled was funny. Especially since I've been known to howl with the best of them.......

[Bluetree]

Thank you everyone for being so frank (and civil!) with your comments.

My personal opinion comes from a childhood dealing with exclusion. As the only non-affluent, non-white child in my neighborhood, I felt the sting of being judged for reasons beyond my control. And to quote a great man on this special day, I am once again reminded how important it is to judge someone "by the content of their character."

This forum is so successful because it brings together something we all have in common: the love of cycling and community. It heartens me to think that although we may be of differing opinions and backgrounds, we can discuss this in a matter that may not be possible in other places.

That a man can find this place comforting is not puzzling to me in the least. In fact, if a man can put away his machismo and communicate with women in a platonic and supportive way, I am even more gratified. It gives me hope for the future.

But I doubt that many men will flock here and make this a co-ed forum. As someone mentioend before, it IS called Team Estrogen. I feel Mr Silver (or any man/woman/undecided who behaves themselves) can only enrich the conversation and growth of fellow members.

[Tuckervill]

On both hands my ring finger is a full cm longer than my index finger.

I'm just waiting for my running performance to kick in

Me too! I hated running in the army and I hate it now.

But I am seriously considering roller derby for an outlet of my suppressed aggressive/competitive energies.

This is the first time I've posted in this thread, so I'll chime in on the topic.

I don't care who posts, because I have no control over it whatsoever. All I have control over is what I read. If someone who posts really gets on my nerves, I can always use the ignore feature. I have used it liberally in other forums, but not this one.

There is something different about this forum than other women-only forums. I think it's the type of woman who is attracted to this type of sport (prolly any sport) that makes a difference. They may be smarter, more mature, or less inclined to a poor-me attitude. I don't know what it is. However, I've never seen a post by someone here who was clinically depressed and neglecting her children; or someone who was in an abusive relationship and will not take the steps to get help often offered, yet posts for years and years with the same problems. Have you ever noticed that type of poster in other forums? You might know someone like that in real life.

Not here. Riding a bike is an action-oriented activity. That's what makes the forum special, I think. You can't go out and ride your bike and then live a lifestyle of learned helplessness.

So, the place is special, full of empowered people. I can't really blame anyone for wanting to be here! I also understand not being comfortable with knowing a man is reading and might respond. But that's a risk you take anyway. Might as well put myself out there as much as I am comfortable, and concentrate on things I CAN control.

Karen, trying to decide which alter-ego will take over when she straps her skates on...

[SouthernBelle]

Easy there - it was a joke (as evidenced by the many smilies!!!)

However, it is a valid observation that if women were excluded under questionable circumstances it's entirely possible that someone would raise the issue. We're a litigious society. It's why I have a job.

And yes, discrimination *is* per se illegal in many contexts (e.g. sorry, we're not going to hire you because you're female). This, however, does not apply to message boards...

*going back to lurkdom now....*

It's why I have my own practice.