Raindrop, I am so sorry for your loss. Please know that you are in my thoughts. I don't want to offend anyone, but I want to thankyou for posting this. I have been in a very bad place in my life in the past couple of months and the past few weeks have been unbearable. I have to admit I thought about things like that, which scared the you know what out of me. Lucky for me i have a few vey close friends who I have been able to talk with. I am slowly pulling my self out. Today, I work as an occupational therapist with the geriatric population, one of my patients said something that brought a smile to my face. mind you he is a big 6'4 350 pound guy. He always has a smile for me. Well anyway he said to my "you have everything" with a smile on his face and I said what do you mean? his relpy was "whatever you want" and you know,, he is right. I will pull through this eventually. Raindrop once again, I am so sorry for your loss, but thanks for posting because we all can support you in your time of need. All my thoughts Q