Dear So and So

[lph]

Maybe the next time you leave a pair of flip-flops out, leave an appropriate note under them. Something like "GOTCHA! Don't even THINK about it."

How about:

"Go and buy your own, moron. These are MINE.
sign., your neighbour in no. xy"

[Bron]

Dear neighbors,

STOP STEALING MY SHOES!

I know that I go out to ride my bike at hours most people are sleeping. Therefore, so as not to disturb your beauty rest, I never wear my bike shoes when taking my bike through the condo complex. I know the clop-clop of my cleats would not be a welcome sound before dawn. I don't want to wear just my socks outside because I happen to like my socks and want to keep them around as long as possible. And yes, at 6am the pavement is darn COLD. So, being a good neighbor, I wear my flip-flops out to the complex entrance, park them there and put on my carbon road shoes for the ride.
Imagine my surprise when -- for the third time in the last few months -- I return from my ride and find my flip flops gone!

Folks, I AM NOT THE FLIP FLOP FAIRY. Do you wake up in the morning, go outside with coffee in hand to get the paper and think, "Oh lookie! I've been a good boy/girl so the Flip Flip Fairy left me another treat!" Does it occur to you that they belong to someone else? Does it bother you to wear flip flops my MY name written on them? I'm trying to be quiet and considerate, but you are making that harder and harder.

In the future, I would appreciate it if you kept your hands off my footwear. Or anything else that does not belong to you.
I and my flip flops thank you.

Dear Bluetree,

Have you thought of cleat covers? Then you can slip them into your pocket and take them with you. Obviously it will put the flip-flop fairy out of work and your neighbours will have to buy their own shoes, but I am sure they can cope.

I use these:
http://www.koolkovers.us/koolkovers.html

Bron

[snapdragen]

Pfft. If they're going to steal the flip flops, all courtesy is off. Wear your bike shoes out the door, noise be damned.

[salsabike]

Dear Contractor,

Hey, thanks for greeting us when we got back from Thanksgiving on the East Coast, with sawdust, pieces of wood and other gunk all over our belongings in the basement dungeon where we're living while you work on our house. Even after we told you eighty million times to make sure your guys didn't trash the tiny living area we have left in the house right now. I LIKE having to spend two hours cleaning up stuff after an East Coast trip. It is kind of hard to shake sawdust out of yarn skeins, not to mention my bike clothes and my computer. Bleah.

[Bikingmomof3]

Dear D***'s,
I have never had much success shopping at my local store. Unfortunately the twins wanted UA from Santa. You happen to be the only local store that carries it. And yet your employees continue to looked surprised by the mere mention of the brand. Now, personally when children know all about UA, I would think your employess would as well. FYI, you do carry UA in your store.
So imagine my joy when I learned UA was being sold through your website without sales tax and shipping! Happy Day! I can order the UA Cold Gear gloves for my twins from Santa. See, I knew it was too easy, yet I was trying to be optomistic. I received a confirmation email and was pleasantly surprised at how smoothly everything went.
*Wait for it*
I just received an email that I ordered an item not yet in stock. Nowhere on your site does it say these are items you do not currently carry. I looked. I went back and looked again. Nope, nothing. Please just get these gloves to me before the 24th! Then we can call it even and I will never ever shop with you again and you will not need to deal with my questions and phone calls.
FYI-Santa does not leave I.O.U.s

Your continually disgruntled, soon to be ex-shopper.

[mimitabby]

Dear so and so
My sister has sent me another cryptic message. Please give me the strength and the intelligence to know what to say; the right things that will not make her any madder and perhaps will calm her down and preserve what little is left in our relationship.

[lph]

Dear so and so
My sister has sent me another cryptic message. Please give me the strength and the intelligence to know what to say; the right things that will not make her any madder and perhaps will calm her down and preserve what little is left in our relationship.

This may sound a bit cryptic too, but bear with me: it makes me - well, not happy, but a bit more content - to see that other people do have difficult relationships with their siblings. As I've mentioned I had one brother who died recently, and we were not close. He was the ultimate master of the one-line reply, not answering e-mails, not returning calls, and in general being aloof and distant. Which didn't really bother me that much when he was alive, but has been bothering me more than I expected after he died. It's so definite - that's the way it was and there's no way of changing it now, even if I had wanted to try.

Long story. I'm not going to go all "carpe diem, mend your ways" on you , just wanted to tell you that it's a small normalizing relief to see that other peoples sibling relationships aren't all perfect either... Good luck with your sister.

[Bikingmomof3]

Dear Head (yes you brain and vessels and arteries),
Please could I just get a break here? One day, just one, please? I would even be happy with half a day. Is it too much to ask?

A very tired body!

[Aggie_Ama]

Dear Eyes,

Please, please, please stop drying out and hurting. My glasses annoy me but I can only wear my contacts 4-5 days a week. The lovely eye doctor has tried everything she can think of, can't you help?

Sincerely,
Wearing glasses and not happy with you eyes

Dear Step-MIL,

If you want people to drive you to pick up your grandson, you must ask. Don't whine about it later. Even though you annoy me and four hours in the car is my idea of torture, I would do it because you have lung cancer and I know chemo is rough. You have to ask for favors though, I don't live with you to know you need help.

With love,
A woman who cares for you because of your wonderful stepson

[mary9761]

Dear Body,
COME ON!!! Work WITH ME here!!!! I've been trying real hard to take good care of you the last couple years or so to make up for the abuse I put on you years ago. I'm giving you great exercise, trying to eat right the best that can be afforded right now. I got you off MOST of the medicines we had to take regularly, now you decide to hit me with a WHAMMY??? Muscle relaxers, Vicodin, Ibuprophen and prednisone is what you decide we need now? I need you to talk to the back, leg and nervous system and get back on the bike! PLEASE!! I don't like we had to go back on Prednisone, you know what it does to us!! And not getting our quota of cycling endorphins.... Well, we BOTH know THAT'S not going to be pretty either...
Let's nip this thing in the bud before it gets worse. We BOTH need to get back on the bike, to stay healthy..
Signed,
Becoming (Nightmare)

[crazycanuck]

Dear Geoff Page-yellow wiggle

I'm sorry to hear about your illness & that you've decided to leave.

Take care of yourself.

From a non wiggles watcher but understands kids love the wiggles...
(I was wiggled at our friends house last christmas & all i could think of on a bike ride was "hot potato, potato potato potato.." )

[PinkBike]

ok, it's december 1st, it is officially christmas season, so why do you morons close the street that takes me to the airport?? for light rail construction? we don't even have the rail cars yet, we wont get them til march, you have been - and will be - working on this forever, so whats the rush that you have to close the airport access from north 44th street NOW during the christmas season?????????????

okay, i feel better now

[CycleChic06]

Dear Mr. McPhelgm,
Here at work, we sit in very close quarters. We are not blessed with walls, or even graced with cubicles. We sit in carrels...lovingly referred to as 'corrals.' During this time of year I understand how people often come down with colds. But please please please cover your mouth when you cough. I really don't appreciate it when you feel the need to cough and you turn your head away from your computer towards me and cough on me instead. I understand you don't want to cough and spit all over your keyboard, but it is necessary to cough and spit on me? And it's not just any cough, it's this deep phlegmy gurgling noise that is quite possibly not even a cough, maybe a sneeze? Or maybe you are trying to clear your throat. Whatever it is, it's disgusting.

I can't tell you how much I love to sit at my desk and have you cough of phlegm in my direction all day. Your constant sneezing/coughing/throat clearing you do EVERY FIVE MINUTES has got to stop.

If you are that sick...go home. No one knows what you do here anyway.

[snapdragen]

cyclechic - have you considered having a big 'ole can of Lysol at your desk? Next time he starts bringing up a lung, start spraying away!

[five one]

There was an article about this in our local newspaper this morning. There is even a name for it - "presenteeism".

Hope you are able to stay out of his line of fire. Eeewww