I love my carbon bike, but if you crash you can ruin carbon- it does not bend, it breaks. Of course you can ruin aluminum too, as once it bends it fatigues- you cannot bend it back or ride it without risking failure, though it is fairly hard to do. I certainly have heard about "wearing out" an aluminum frame *but* we're talking about 180lb guys racing on aluminum frames and putting huge amounts of stress on the frame.
If you are looking for durable and comfortable and money is not a big factor, why not try titanium? Ti frames are often very forgiving, soaking up road noise and bumps and also are very durable. Then there is always steel, some people swear by it for comfort and there are super light steel frames being made these days.
Do be aware that there are other factors than frame material that will affect how comfy a frame is, the geometry, how stiff the frame is, the tire pressure / width all are factors. My steel bike was no better than my alumimum one as far as soaking up bumps went. My ti bike really dampens everything, but another person I know said that the ti bike she raced for one season was so stiff that it transmitted every little bit of the road.