Should I take a hint?

[Triskeliongirl]

I agree with pedal wrench. This is how guys are, especially fast ones. My husband is one of the fast boys on the front of the pack, and he gets annoyed if anyone, girl or guy tries to chit chat, cuz it is wasting energy that could be spent cycling faster. He will also drop his best friend if he can. He still likes his best friend, but they don't talk on a ride and they try really hard to drop each other. This is how they get better. Don't take it to be more than it is. If you are keeping up for 20 miles, that is great, and over time you will be able to hang on longer because you are training with them. If you wanna get social, you could invite them out to lunch *after* the ride, our guys will do that , but even then I've never seen more men order salad after cyling 50 miles with 4000 feet of climbing!

[bluerider]

I agree with pedal wrench. This is how guys are, especially fast ones. My husband is one of the fast boys on the front of the pack, and he gets annoyed if anyone, girl or guy tries to chit chat, cuz it is wasting energy that could be spent cycling faster. He will also drop his best friend if he can. He still likes his best friend, but they don't talk on a ride and they try really hard to drop each other. This is how they get better. Don't take it to be more than it is. If you are keeping up for 20 miles, that is great, and over time you will be able to hang on longer because you are training with them. If you wanna get social, you could invite them out to lunch *after* the ride, our guys will do that , but even then I've never seen more men order salad after cyling 50 miles with 4000 feet of climbing!

Thanks, I agree, I shouldn't over-think it. Just go there and treat it for what it is, a really hard training ride. To be honest, I'm not interested in socializing with them during or afterwards, but a simple Hello, Good morning would suffice!

[Triskeliongirl]

Myabe the problem is that they feel you need to earn their respect. Now if they were to look at differences in strength for men vs women they would respect you more, but maybe its as simple as they are looking at it from the stand point of what do THEY get out of riding with you. Obvioulsy you get pushed hard, but they may view you as simply a wheel sucker that is disrupting the rhythm of their paceline. Don't get me wrong on this, maybe that isn't what they think, but maybe it explains their coolness. I agree they should be friendlier, but only you have to decide if what you get out of riding with them is worth the cool behavior. But don't stress over it. Just make your decision, and understand its not personal.

Thanks, I agree, I shouldn't over-think it. Just go there and treat it for what it is, a really hard training ride. To be honest, I'm not interested in socializing with them during or afterwards, but a simple Hello, Good morning would suffice!

[Cassandra_Cain]

Hi Blue...

Yours is not an entirely unfamiliar, or for that matter uncommon, dilemna.

I think if you want to race then riding with a group, at least sometimes, is really necessary. You can be incredibly fit, but you still need good bike handling skills that can only be honed in a group. Not only that but a big issue IMO, is riding in these groups prepares you for the accelerations you'll deal with in the peloton while racing. That's very difficult to train solo, doing the spontaneous anerobic work you get from having to try to keep up with the group.

The personality thing with guys and what not, I totally understand and I don't care for it. There's nothing that says you have to ride with guys, if there is a group of strong women riding in your area. Whatever works for you though!

Best of luck

[bluerider]

Hi Blue...

Yours is not an entirely unfamiliar, or for that matter uncommon, dilemna.

I think if you want to race then riding with a group, at least sometimes, is really necessary. You can be incredibly fit, but you still need good bike handling skills that can only be honed in a group. Not only that but a big issue IMO, is riding in these groups prepares you for the accelerations you'll deal with in the peloton while racing. That's very difficult to train solo, doing the spontaneous anerobic work you get from having to try to keep up with the group.

The personality thing with guys and what not, I totally understand and I don't care for it. There's nothing that says you have to ride with guys, if there is a group of strong women riding in your area. Whatever works for you though!

Best of luck

Thanks Cassandra. I agree whole-heartedly that in order to get faster, I need to ride with faster people. The problem is there are absolutely no women in the area who ride as fast as this crew. They ride more for leisure and it's great to do recovery rides with them. I think I need to suck it up or find another group.

[Cassandra_Cain]

Thanks Cassandra. I agree whole-heartedly that in order to get faster, I need to ride with faster people. The problem is there are absolutely no women in the area who ride as fast as this crew. They ride more for leisure and it's great to do recovery rides with them. I think I need to suck it up or find another group.

Blue - I'm glad you got some ideas from all the comments and insight that was posted on the thread.

You know, it sounds far-fetched perhaps, but there's no reason you can't put out some flyers inquiring about fast women wanting to ride/train together. Stranger things have happened!

And if none of that works out, well if ever in NM, drop me a line, we'll go riding and drop a bunch of those guys!

[bluerider]

Blue - I'm glad you got some ideas from all the comments and insight that was posted on the thread.

You know, it sounds far-fetched perhaps, but there's no reason you can't put out some flyers inquiring about fast women wanting to ride/train together. Stranger things have happened!

And if none of that works out, well if ever in NM, drop me a line, we'll go riding and drop a bunch of those guys!

Thanks Cassandra. I have been thinking about organizing a women's only ride. Not to get more fast women out necessarily but just to get more women to enjoy the sport.

[Mimosa]

Hi blue

It's a guy thing, just let it glide of your shoulders and ignore them.

I can see why you want to train with them once a week, it's good to train for speed and acceleration. But like stated by one of the girls, don't over do it, once a week is enough.

I am planning on training at the local club on their closed circuit. Once a week they have their clubrace, the group consists maybe out of 40 guys and 2 women (at the most). I don't expect any 'easy stuff' from their side and I don't want it either. I am there to exercise and I want them to make it hard on me, that way I can get better.

The 'guy thing' is already noticable when a faster groups of males pass during a training. I allways grab the last wheel, get into the speed of the group and join in. Often guys respond with that look which sort of says 'what are you doing?'.

[Geonz]

I agree with pedalwench - if there's folks who will bridge you, then they're welcoming you. Could be that the negative vibes are part of the competitive intensity that is going to radiate in that atmosphere, not a personal thing... or could be some folks don't mind, and other folks do.
ONce a week they should be willing to "endure" a wheelsucker, especially if you're getting better.

[bluerider]

Myabe the problem is that they feel you need to earn their respect. Now if they were to look at differences in strength for men vs women they would respect you more, but maybe its as simple as they are looking at it from the stand point of what do THEY get out of riding with you. Obvioulsy you get pushed hard, but they may view you as simply a wheel sucker that is disrupting the rhythm of their paceline. Don't get me wrong on this, maybe that isn't what they think, but maybe it explains their coolness. I agree they should be friendlier, but only you have to decide if what you get out of riding with them is worth the cool behavior. But don't stress over it. Just make your decision, and understand its not personal.

You are RIGHT ON to what I've been thinking. I think they are trying to figure out what they get from riding with me. Which to be honest, isn't much considering I am really a wheelsucker. So, it comes back to whether or not I should keep at it, the LAST THING I want to do is disrupt their rides but on the other hand, am not sure how I am ever going to improve without them.

[bcipam]

Bottom line - guys, especially guys on a training or hard core ride, aren't gonna be into chatting. Personally, when riding hard, I hate to chat as well.

I'm sure no one minds you riding with the group, provided you observe proper proctocol but don't expect special treatment. There are some women out there that can ride any man into the ground. They would expect the guys to push them hard and not except any special treatment and guys, being guys, won't give it. They don't give each other special treatment why would they give any other rider such treatment, even if a woman?.

If you are training to race, or become a stronger rider stay with the guys. If you think they are trying to drop you, try harder to stay with them. Think of the respect you'll earn. Any rider has to earn the respect of the others.

If you are there to socialize, or chat, drop down to the "B" group or maybe the "C". Or mix it up after or at the coffee break.

PS: Guys aren't like women - women like to give "hints" which men typically don't get. Men will tell you to your face or will let you know if they don't want you around. THings are so much simplier with men. Just ride, don't think so much!!!

[bluerider]

Thanks ladies, you have no idea how much your feedback has encouraged me. I keep telling myself not to take it personally but those darn feelings keep creeping up. I will stick with it because I’ve proven before I CAN!

It just really depends on who shows up for the ride, if it’s a mix of more “friendly” guys, they will “police” each other not to get too crazy. But when hammerheads show up, that’s when I’m in trouble. No mercy for the weak! I definitely don’t chit chat with anyone unless they initiate it and I think I have pretty good bike handling skills. I usually try pulling when it comes to my turn but the past few times a few of them told me to not worry about it. So I’m happy to be a wheelsucker, but would never ever want to hold back the pack.

You are so right bcipam, I shouldn’t expect “special” treatment, I’m just another rider. Keep riding, keep getting dropped…come back and repeat until I can keep up!!!

Thanks again to everyone who read this and posted their comments. I really appreciate it!