Chica, <3 this list!
Add also:
People who look at piercings and say "Did that hurt?"
...no. It freakin' tickled. Moron.
Conversely, people who have piercings in obviously painful spots, and when asked, say "No, didn't hurt at all!" ...right.

Women who have a purse the size of my backpack and carry it like a football. Yes, ma'am, I'll surely suffer when the world ends around me and I'm caught with my wallet instead of my eyedrops,tweezers, kleenexes, checkbook, wildfire shake 'n bake shelter/emergency blanket, spare keys, real keys, pictures of my progenitors and progeny, pup tent, paperclips (Thanks, McGyver) flashlight, chewing gum and chihuaua. (thanks, Mom!)

People who **** that they couldn't get a close spot in the gym parking lot, then first off go to the treadmill to run for a mile or two. (Thanks, honey!)