If you are just having kids because you think they will make your life complete, perhaps you ought to sit down and really think about it some more.
You know, I get this a lot, and it bugs me. I would never question someone else's statement that they don't want kids -- if you say you don't want them, I assume you have come to that decision through rational means. But why would you not assume that people who want kids have gone through the same thought process? It seems fair to me to accord people who want kids the same amount of respect for their decisions ... if you are talking about someone who wants a child but can't have one, you are not talking about someone who got knocked up accidentally and decided, 'Oh, well, guess I'll be a parent.' You are, by definition, talking about someone who has thought about and chosen parenthood.

Kitsune, I really feel for you guys, and I hope I don't sound too jaded if I say that I think you are both going to have a rough road ahead of you. When my husband and I were in our 20s, we both knew we should break up because we had different views on the kid issue, but we were young, we were pretty happy otherwise, and I think we each secretly hoped that the other would have a change of heart. But what would have been difficult at age 25 felt emotionally impossible ten years later ... now we have 13 years of shared life history between us; we've been through all kinds of medical ups and downs, we've grown up together and we are still best friends. There are days when I think that I should divorce him, that there is still time for me to adopt or have a child on my own, but at this point cutting him out of my life would feel like an amputation. I think it would have been better for both of us if we had broken up when I was 26 and he was 23 and we both were pretty sure we knew what we wanted. Not making the hard decision then has made for a lot of misery on both sides down the road.

And to be clear: I am sympathetic to the partner who does not want children. I can't imagine being a parent if you didn't want to be. And I can't imagine that it's easy to see the person you love miserable, and to know that in a real way you are the cause of that misery, and that the only way to end it is to either leave them, or do something that you really don't want to do.

I do wish I'd known then what I know, is all I'm saying.