I think the most frustrating part is that she knows that when xdh and I got married, a few months after, we agreed on a vasectomy so we would never have to worry. We were *that* sure. I'm afraid that she just chooses to believe I'll change my mind, and at some point once we've been together 7 or 8 years, she'll say "It's almost too late- I want to have a kid" or "It's too late- I can't!" or whatever and be upset at *me*... and I know I'm not 'selfish'. I was about 6 when I learned women didn't "automatically" have children, and it was the happiest revelation of my young life. I've never wanted children. Conversely, it's always been something she's wanted... and i'm afraid it'll end in grave disappointment or the like. Sure I have thought parenthood out- thoroughly. And it thoroughly terrifies me. I'd rather be an aunt or "aunt"... just babysitting for friends' children...

It was being at TE that made me realize that a) I may never change my mind on this b) it's not 'wrong', I'm not somehow mentally 'defective'... it's just the way I am... and I'm not ashamed... just afraid of what the future might hold.