Quote Originally Posted by Bluetree View Post
I’ve been telling people my whole life that I never wanted kids. Many of them say that “You’ll change your mind,” or “Just wait and see,” or some other nonsense. I find that response arrogant and patronizing. In my 39-years of existence, I can’t recall ever telling anyone that their personal beliefs and aspirations were a passing phase... even if I did not agree with it.
Me too.

Xeney - while I have never wanted children (and I was lucky enough to fall in love with a man who felt the same way), I do find myself 'wavering' for all the wrong reasons. Luckily, my DH keeps me in check. I'm 38 and have been married for 3.5 years. My friends are all either my age with careers who are just now having kids, or younger than me who got married around the same time as me (met on a wedding planning board) who are now starting to have kids. Then we moved to an area where family (ie: kids) is expected. I find myself telling people 'we'll see' when they ask when we'll start trying just because it's too hard to explain 'I don't want to be a mother'. I can see how those who do want children and who don't have them (for whatever reason...some of my single girlfriends are freaking out about aging childless because they haven't met the right guy yet), would feel alienated, left out, jealous...all the above. It's hard to be childfree in a world where children are worshipped.

Someday I hope to make better peace with my decision (I know its right...it's just hard) and I pray that with age, also comes wisdom (and a few childfree friends!). Keep looking for your role models...not all of us who are childfree are miserable (or if we are, perhaps it's not because something is missing...but because society tells us we are weird! )