Donna, I feel your pain.

I know just what it's like to be afraid that my symptoms will not be taken serioiusly, or that my symptoms are so vague as to seem meaningless. I'm 44 and overweight like you. I had strange symptoms for several months that I just ignored--they didn't really add up to anything--until the ovarian cyst ruptured. During that time I didn't go to the doc because I didn't have a clear picture of what was wrong, just that something *might* be wrong. It was wrong enough eventually to send me to the ER in July.

Before that, though, I had decided that I was entitled not to be *afraid* of taking part in my own health care. I decided that it's my option to be proactive and ask for blook work and tests, etc. So the first thing I did was eliminate all male doctors from my life. I know that sounds sexist, but the fact is I live in the South and have experienced more than my share of patriarchy in all aspects of life. I decided that this one place, my femaleness and physical health, would be free of authoritarian males, no matter how subtle or enlightened they might be.

I researched until I found a GYN practice that seemed to display the same values that I had (they had a link to Planned Parenthood AND midwives on their site, which is an indicator that they are at least not closed minded). They specialized in menopause, too....and NO MALE DOCTORS. I have been very pleased, because they take every little thing as part of the whole, and don't dismiss anything on its face.

When I ended up in the hospital overnight with the ruptured cyst, the hospital docs (male OB's) were already talking removal of the ovary. No way. I followed up with my own female GYN and she was very, very conservative and very willing to follow my lead. She actually AGREED when I said I would like to get through menopause with all my parts. While my very own dad said, "You don't need your uterus anymore...why don't you take it out?" ARGHHH! (I resisted the urge to suggest he have his testicles removed for the same reason.)

So, take control of your own health care, girlfriend. Get a doctor who will listen. Yes, if you think it will be a female, go for it, and don't be afraid of being called sexist. If you are used to having your feelings dismissed by the men in your life, it will not be easy to be strong in the face of another male. And you need to be strong. Do yourself a favor and research until you find a doctor's office that will meet your needs. It wouldn't hurt to start with a GYN, because, barring anything serious wrt your symptoms, you'll need the GYN longer and more often than any other doc.

Hope the HMO doesn't screw it all up for you. Be an advocate for your own health.

Karen