I can't find my shoes . . .

[BikeMomma]

Well young lady, where did you last have them? They didn't just walk away on their own you know. I can't spend all my time looking for your shoes. Your father and I work hard to buy those things. I bet you loaned them to %#$@. & you'll never get them back from her. I mean, have you seen their house. Her mother just let's things lay where they drop you know. Well, I'm not buying you another pair. You'll just have to cycle barefoot. Now go to your room.

Hey Belle --- are you sure you're not my mother???

Only thing is, you'd need an English accent, not a southern one, and you'd need to insert "bloody" about every fourth word....

WAY funny, thanks for the laugh!
~BikeMomma