They Walk Among Us

[Trek420]

Kitsune06 "They walk among us, reproduce, and have like 6 kids. :eek" all of which Tri_girl has to teach, they vote but more important to us TE gals.....they drive

True call: one day at the phone company customer calls says he's feels sure that his call return service (that's *69 to you) does not work.

So I ask him what's wrong with it.

He feels he should not have to pay for it because of course it would never work, there are too few numbers in S-T-A-R-6-9.

==============
This call happens more often than you think:
"I'm calling to move my phone service"
"I'd be happy to help you with that, can I get your new addres?"
"It's POB 1234, the zip code's the same"
"You'll be moving to a Post office box?...."
"yes"
"alrighty, do you need any inside wire work done inside the PO box?"
...then he gets it...

====================
Customer calls about her DSL it's not working, normally that's a quick transfer to tech support but their TTY line is busy so I offer to help.

Ask her what's wrong, it won't connect.
What type of modem do you use? She asks me to wait...

Comes back "it's a super speedy model xyz"
Fine ok, the lights on the top how many are there and are they all green, yellow or red?
She asks me to wait.

Comes back, there are three lights and they are all blank.
"blank?" I say.

"Yes blank" So i begin to describe how to to a hard boot...restart the computer turn off the modem... "wait" she says....

"You mean I have to take the modem out of the box to have DSL?"

and they have phone service and computers.

[Xrayted]

Customer calls about her DSL it's no working

What type of modem do you use? She asks me to wait...

Fine ok, the lights on the top how many are there and are they all green, yellow or red?
She asks me to wait.

Comes back, there are three lights and they are all blank.
"blank?" I say.

"Yes blank"

"You mean I have to take the modem out of the box to have DSL?"

and they have phone service and computers.

YOU..................SO...................ROCK!!!
I really needed a laugh today. (Not too good of a day in Lancaster County, PA. Lots of tears at the hospital all day. **There's all kinds that walk among us.)

THANKS!!!! for the pick me up.

Cindy

[Kitsune06]

Yeah, we had modern marvels while I was working for (I can say it since I'm not working with them anymore, right?) Adobe Systems...

This lady called me to say "My Ah-dobe's broke".
How hard is it to pronounce 'Adobe'? ... as in the mud, or the big desert dwellings made of said mud, or the little stream? 'a-DOE-bee'. Geez.
"Which program do you have?"
"Adobe."
"Which Adobe program, Ma'am?"
"5.0."
"...Reader?"
"What's this 'Reader'? I'm callin' because my Ah-dobe's broke, and you're asking me about a reader?!"
"Ma'am... Adobe Reader is one of our programs..."
"That's not what I'm calling about."
*put on mute for a moment. Strangle my coffee-cup. Off mute* "Alright, ma'am... What I need to determine before directing your call to our Tech Support line is what program you're using. What comes up on the screen when you click the icon?"
"Adobe R-..."
"...Ma'am?"
*click*

The first few times, you laugh. After that, it disturbs you more and more. Trek, God Bless you for managing call center work. Every day I felt myself closer and closer to true misanthropy.

[Trek420]

I debated telling this but what the heck. If any TE gals are skip tracers or collection agencies, would you guys stop doing this???

There's a type of fraud we sometimes get perpetrated by skip tracers and collection agencies. Usually they have 2 out of three of the info they need; they know the name and address of the person they want but not the number....

So they call pretending to be a service rep who does not have access to the sytems.

Do they think we are stupid?

Don't answer that.

If I can't get into ____ I ask my podmate, if the system is down all over I'm not going to call other offices, Cheese and Rice.

But it gets better.

These fraudsters call da'phone co, say they are from Disabled Services (not what our dept is called anymore but whatever).

But what's funny is they call OUR office say they are from the New York or Billings MT office of DS.

We have one office, I work in it, there's NO other office of "Disabled Services", there are maybe 20 of us there so we all know everyone here and... the 6,000 AT&T service reps know all of us too. So Brphtttt

But wait it gets better, they always have some fake digitally enhanced speach impaired person on the line.

Not a real disabled person, it's fake.

We take calls from speach impaired customers all day, we can tell, do you think we're stupid?

Don't answer that.

It must have worked *once* so they keep trying.

So one day I get the call and oh &^% here it goes again, the caller says he's "Dana from Disabled Services in Chicago and I can't get into some systems."

Dana sits near me, Dana is very much a gal.

Well, you gotta work so might as well have some fun while doing it.

"Hi Dana" I say, "I used to work with some folks in that office. Are Brian and Ellen still there?"

"uh, yeah" he fakes saying hi to them.

"Let's get started how can I help you" like I don't know

Usual B** S***, he has a speach impaired customer and trying to place am order and does not know the working service at the address, can I look it up blah blah blah?

He brings the "customer" on the line, "myrgb wihtll zxxxxmm erpt yppphtlglgl" they say not even sounding like one with a speach impairment.

So I do what we always do....notes and flags all over the non published account "unauthorised person trying to get info, do not give out number etc etc" let the front desk know about the call, they notify all the reps in every center to "be alert we need more lerts" ... all the normal stuff.

Meanwhile since that takes time let's have fun with system names!!

I ask Dana "did you try looking it up in PORFT?"
"huh"
"yeah, PORFT, you should have that, you have the new back up system?"
"uh, it's giving me some weird error messages"
"does it say the FLEZZBOTS are missing?"
"uh, yeah, that!!"
"well that's because you're not holding down the STI shifter, so hold that down. Now it should you the number in the DESPOT section"
"uh, no it's..."

By now my coworkers are looking at me oddly. more so than usual.


"Dana, I bet it's saying you need the SAGAM, right?"
"uh, yeah, that's it, says it needs the SAGFRAM"
"ok, type in DORF NORTH in the non folded part of the ARNICA and you should get your number...."
"it still doesn't give..."

By now I've done what I normally do so I do what I do
"Dana" asks for the number.
"Dana, if you're authorised you should see that"
"Dana" hangs up..

Can't wait for someone to call asking for the SAGFRAM in DORF NORTH

they walk amoung us, they work for collection agencies, and they're trying to get your non published number from da'phone co.

[cherinyc]

Trek - I don't know how you do it?

[Trek420]

I don't know how I do it either but that call is legendary in our office