how to deal with the death of a fellow cyclist

[mimitabby]

more virtual hugs from here in Seattle, where a fine young woman died this week in almost exactlly the same way, in the morning when the sun was virtually horizontal in the van driver's eyes...

[Xrayted]

silver, I'm so sorry. There just aren't words...
It's bad enough to lose a friend but right in front of you is just devastating. Talk it out with those around you and come here anytime you need it. Sometimes it takes a little bit of time for it to really sink in. If you're ever having an extra hard time dealing, make sure you get help/talk it out. Shock from things like this can hit us at any time, even days or weeks later.

Take care and you are all in my thoughts. ((((silver))))

cindy

(p.s. I just added contact info in my seat bag along with my id/insurance info.)

[HipGnosis6]

Somebody mentioned post-traumatic symptoms.... if you find yourself having nightmares, difficulty sleeping, depression, et cetera, please do not be afraid or ashamed to talk to a counselor. You have, after all, just lived through a pretty traumatic experience. You will be in all our thoughts and if you need emotional support the ladies at TE are excellent to have around.

[Nanci]

Silver, how sad. I'm sorry. I'm glad the guy wasn't alone when it happened, though. There have been several fatalities in my city recently, and some non-fatal hits. A woman from our cycling club has been in the hospital where I work for weeks- broken back, broken ribs, broken femur- but got to go to rehab last week finally. It was like a daily reminder, seeing her name in the computer every day. She's lucky.

I know what you mean about injuries not appearing that bad. Maybe someone from the cycling club will have more information. One thing that easily kills people is when the aorta is injured during a sudden deceleration.

I copied this from the bicycle safe website. It's not much, but it's something.

The Left Cross

A car coming towards you makes a left turn right in front of you, or right into you.

How to avoid this collision:

1. Don't ride on the sidewalk. When you come off the sidewalk to cross the street, you're invisible to turning motorists.

2. Get a headlight. If you're riding at night, you should absolutely use a front headlight. It's required by law in most countries, anyway.

3. Wear something bright, even during the day. It may seem silly, but bikes are small and easy to see through even during the day. Yellow or orange reflective vests really make a big difference. Reflective leg bands are also easy and inexpensive.

4. Don't pass on the right. Don't overtake slow-moving vehicles on the right. Doing so makes you invisible to left-turning motorists at intersections. Passing on the right means that the vehicle you're passing could also make a right turn right into you, too.

5. Slow down. If you can't make eye contact with the driver (especially at night), slow down so much that you're able to completely stop if you have to. Sure, it's inconvenient, but it beats getting hit.

[RoadRaven]

Like Annie, this has taken several reads through to process and be ready to respond... and I have nothing insightful to add... only how dreadfully I feel for you and all those involved...

We had the death of a member in our club earlier this year, caused by bikes colliding, no car involved... by boy is it hard to process something like this.

Definately seek a counsellor, it can really help to have somebody who is outside the situation to unload on...

My thoughts are with you, as are so many from here at TE.

[bikerchick68]

Silver... how scary and traumatic to witness this horrific loss of life... a sad day for all to be sure...

I work with a Crisis Response Team and you've definitely received some good advice already here... I want to post one link that you may find helpful, specifically about the grieving process:

http://www.counselingforloss.com/article8.htm

your feeling that he didn't "look" like his injuries were that bad is very, very normal... the denial part of grieving... internal injuries are not visible to the eye, so the normal assumption is that the person will be fine. You may go in and out of the stages of grieving... and there is no "set" timeline in which this will happen. You may be angry one day, despondent the next... then angry again. If you find that you feel stuck in the process, seek help. A self help group... a counselor, whatever assistance you can find. You can call your local Hospice and ask for referrals... here there are an abundance of groups available.

Also, here is another link you may like to have... an online grieving sight that has been checked and cleared for us to use as a referral by our local police dept...

www.groww.org

they have online memorials plus message boards where others may have experienced the same type of loss.

hugs to you...

[mary9761]

(((((((Silver)))))))) I hadn't heard about this accident before you posted. Where did this happen? Were you down in Bloomington? I'm so sorry for you, the rider and his friends and family.
Do you still plan on going to the Hilly? If you are still coming, look for me in the snackbar area at registration and I will give you a REAL HUG to replace the virtual hug I just gave you.