how to deal with the death of a fellow cyclist

[KnottedYet]

(((((silver)))))

My thoughts are with you and the biker's family and the other riders you were with.

[emily_in_nc]

Horrible, just horrible.

Be prepared -- this event will probably haunt you for some time. You might have trouble sleeping, nightmares, or fear responses out of the blue. You might have recurrent images of the accident, tear up with no warning, and be anxious on your bike for awhile.

Or not.

We're all different. I am just sharing how I reacted after my dad died in a car accident - I experienced all of the symptoms I listed above. Obviously it's a very different situation to lose a loved one than an acquaintance, but since you witnessed the accident, you may well have some of the same types of reactions and post-traumatic stress symptoms that I did. I still have them, though less frequently, even 11 months later. Your acute reactions will probably not last nearly so long since you didn't lose a loved one suddenly, but you'll never forget what happened today. And the reality of today will sink in more than it has already in coming days. So things may get worse before they get better.

Do seek the support of family and friends, and talk about how you are feeling.

Sending you many virtual hugs and calming thoughts....

Emily

[mimitabby]

more virtual hugs from here in Seattle, where a fine young woman died this week in almost exactlly the same way, in the morning when the sun was virtually horizontal in the van driver's eyes...

[Xrayted]

silver, I'm so sorry. There just aren't words...
It's bad enough to lose a friend but right in front of you is just devastating. Talk it out with those around you and come here anytime you need it. Sometimes it takes a little bit of time for it to really sink in. If you're ever having an extra hard time dealing, make sure you get help/talk it out. Shock from things like this can hit us at any time, even days or weeks later.

Take care and you are all in my thoughts. ((((silver))))

cindy

(p.s. I just added contact info in my seat bag along with my id/insurance info.)

[HipGnosis6]

Somebody mentioned post-traumatic symptoms.... if you find yourself having nightmares, difficulty sleeping, depression, et cetera, please do not be afraid or ashamed to talk to a counselor. You have, after all, just lived through a pretty traumatic experience. You will be in all our thoughts and if you need emotional support the ladies at TE are excellent to have around.

[Nanci]

Silver, how sad. I'm sorry. I'm glad the guy wasn't alone when it happened, though. There have been several fatalities in my city recently, and some non-fatal hits. A woman from our cycling club has been in the hospital where I work for weeks- broken back, broken ribs, broken femur- but got to go to rehab last week finally. It was like a daily reminder, seeing her name in the computer every day. She's lucky.

I know what you mean about injuries not appearing that bad. Maybe someone from the cycling club will have more information. One thing that easily kills people is when the aorta is injured during a sudden deceleration.

I copied this from the bicycle safe website. It's not much, but it's something.

The Left Cross

A car coming towards you makes a left turn right in front of you, or right into you.

How to avoid this collision:

1. Don't ride on the sidewalk. When you come off the sidewalk to cross the street, you're invisible to turning motorists.

2. Get a headlight. If you're riding at night, you should absolutely use a front headlight. It's required by law in most countries, anyway.

3. Wear something bright, even during the day. It may seem silly, but bikes are small and easy to see through even during the day. Yellow or orange reflective vests really make a big difference. Reflective leg bands are also easy and inexpensive.

4. Don't pass on the right. Don't overtake slow-moving vehicles on the right. Doing so makes you invisible to left-turning motorists at intersections. Passing on the right means that the vehicle you're passing could also make a right turn right into you, too.

5. Slow down. If you can't make eye contact with the driver (especially at night), slow down so much that you're able to completely stop if you have to. Sure, it's inconvenient, but it beats getting hit.

[RoadRaven]

Like Annie, this has taken several reads through to process and be ready to respond... and I have nothing insightful to add... only how dreadfully I feel for you and all those involved...

We had the death of a member in our club earlier this year, caused by bikes colliding, no car involved... by boy is it hard to process something like this.

Definately seek a counsellor, it can really help to have somebody who is outside the situation to unload on...

My thoughts are with you, as are so many from here at TE.