how to deal with the death of a fellow cyclist

[silver]

Thanks to everyone for "listening" and for your support. I've had several hours now to process this. I know I will ride again. It will be scary. Yes, I think that the biggest lesson that I can take to my riding is to always assume that the driver does not see me.

One of the things that I'm having the most trouble processing is that it didn't seem like to me that his injuries were going to be life threatening. He didn't seem to have a head wound. It seems that the major problem was blunt trauma to the chest.

Velocilex: I was riding this ride as a tune up for the Hilly. I will be inquiring as to whether the family would feel it appropriate for me to ride in his memory. let's do a rool call later in the week for TE folks who are riding.

[annie]

This is so awful! I couldn't even respond on my first read-through.

You seem to be handling it ok for now, Silver. I hope you continue to do so! My thoughts are with you and all else involved. So scary!!!!

annie

[DDH]

I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. I don't have any words of wisdom, and can't even imagine what I would do in the same situation.
I am sure this gentlemen who enjoyed and loved riding would not want anyone to stop because of this tragedy. The only thing I can say about drivers is that I think a lot of the time they are looking for other cars and nothing else when they go to execute their turns or what not.
I cannot imagine not seeing a bright yellow jersey coming down the road at me. I try to always be aware of everything that is going on around me when I drive, not just the other vehicles.
I hope that comfort and peace are with you during this hard time and my thoughts and prayers go out to the family, friends and other bicyclist as well as you.

[KnottedYet]

(((((silver)))))

My thoughts are with you and the biker's family and the other riders you were with.

[emily_in_nc]

Horrible, just horrible.

Be prepared -- this event will probably haunt you for some time. You might have trouble sleeping, nightmares, or fear responses out of the blue. You might have recurrent images of the accident, tear up with no warning, and be anxious on your bike for awhile.

Or not.

We're all different. I am just sharing how I reacted after my dad died in a car accident - I experienced all of the symptoms I listed above. Obviously it's a very different situation to lose a loved one than an acquaintance, but since you witnessed the accident, you may well have some of the same types of reactions and post-traumatic stress symptoms that I did. I still have them, though less frequently, even 11 months later. Your acute reactions will probably not last nearly so long since you didn't lose a loved one suddenly, but you'll never forget what happened today. And the reality of today will sink in more than it has already in coming days. So things may get worse before they get better.

Do seek the support of family and friends, and talk about how you are feeling.

Sending you many virtual hugs and calming thoughts....

Emily

[mimitabby]

more virtual hugs from here in Seattle, where a fine young woman died this week in almost exactlly the same way, in the morning when the sun was virtually horizontal in the van driver's eyes...

[Xrayted]

silver, I'm so sorry. There just aren't words...
It's bad enough to lose a friend but right in front of you is just devastating. Talk it out with those around you and come here anytime you need it. Sometimes it takes a little bit of time for it to really sink in. If you're ever having an extra hard time dealing, make sure you get help/talk it out. Shock from things like this can hit us at any time, even days or weeks later.

Take care and you are all in my thoughts. ((((silver))))

cindy

(p.s. I just added contact info in my seat bag along with my id/insurance info.)