The Safety Zone

[inatree]

wow. all of you are truly blessed. althought it might seem annoying sometimes to have someone on your case about your safety...you truly are very very lucky to have another human being be concerned about your well-being. i've never ridden with anyone else. all my friends moved to different parts of the country, and i am completely alone. been single for several years (not by choice). nobody ever even knows when i'm out riding, let alone know where i'm going or how long i'll be gone. if i dont do things alone, i would never do ANYTHING. this is a completely miserable existence but is necessary because...for every happy person there's gotta be a sad one! anyway...i just want to tell you ladies how LUCKY and BLESSED and LOVED you all are for having someone be concerned for you. i barely remember what that was like. i am sooooo jealous.

...remember there are other people out there who have no one in the world for them...not even a friend to tell their day to...always smile at passers-by because that just might be one of them...

[Grog]

I am truly shocked at reading how big a concern women's safety is for, appearantly, so many American women and their partners of all part of the country. It is not the first time I notice it on this board but now reading it all together really comes as a sad revelation.

I don't know if it's the North (like Duck on Wheels who's in Norway) but to me it's clear that women have every right to be in the outdoors, doing stuff, not being 'guarded' by men and not being more than reasonably careful about themselves. My partner, who's a SERIOUS worry wart, would be worried that I crashed if I was late for dinner, but certainly not that I was attacked. I will find it a bit creepy running the trails by myself, but mostly because I fear owl attacks (frequent in this season).

I hope you women do not only do individual things like be careful and carry mace and tell your partner/friends where are going. The amount of fear I read about seems totally unacceptable to me, and calls to some collective action. Women must get together, be bold and refuse to be scared by the prospect of violent men waiting to pounce on them. I have often read of 'Take back the night' walks. Maybe a 'Take back the trails' is required?

[SouthernBelle]

I think the question arises whether the fear of some of the posters or their SOs is reasonable. There are women on this board who will not ride by themselves. I don't think this is particularly healthy, sound or justifiable. You make careful decisions on where and when to ride. But there are no guarantees and I'm only willing to restrict myself so much.

Opinions?

[Veronica]

If I only waited to ride with my husband, I'd only ride on weekends. I'm pretty careful about where I ride. I'm more concerned about traffic than nuts who may want to hurt me.

V.

[midgetcycler]

My DH's level of concern is at a comfortable level for me. We have been together long enough that I think he has gotten it through his head that I am going to do what I want no matter how much he badgers me. If he is home before I leave for a ride, he just asks which direction I'm headed so he will know where to search if I don't come back.

I think what we all need to think about is what can we do to make ourselves less of a target. I know that I WILL NOT let the rapist or murderer win -- they won't scare me into staying in my house. I am going to go about my life as a confident, independent woman. I know there are risks involved, but I will arm myself with whatever information/strengths I think are necessary to deal with those.

I try to vary my routes. Becoming too predictable in your routine is a good way to become a target. I have a 'south route,' an east route,' and a 'north route' that I take when I leave my house. I try not to do the same one two days in a row and not follow the same pattern every time. So if a guy is watching me on road X, he may see me every third day or every fifth day. He just never knows when I will show up.

I also always scan my surroundings. Don't stare at the road in front of you and block out everything else that is going on around you. Is there a pick-up, car, or work truck on the side of the road? What is he doing? I try to conserve my energy as I approach and then veer way into the lane to go around him (way more than a door's width) and go into a sprint as I pass just in case this guy is lying in wait for me.

If you do pass someone else on the road, make sure you make eye contact with them. That let's them know you are a very observant person and are aware of your surroundings. If they think you might be able to pick them out of a line-up, they might move on.

I don't have mace on my bike. I figure I probably won't have time to use it if I need it. But I do carry my cell phone on my body. So hopefully if I have an accident and get thrown from my bike, my phone will go wherever I go and I can call for help.

[pyxichick]

I can't imagine letting fear keep me from getting outside and doing the things I love. I'm probably on the extreme end of the fear spectrum, in that I just don't worry about much when I'm out having fun. I found out that my family calls me Mr. Magoo because they think I'm just going around oblivious to all this bad stuff that's happening around me. But really, if we let fear rule our lives, we'd never leave the house!

I've had the good fortune of being able to do lots of things that I'd never have experienced if I let fear get the better of me-- motorcycle riding, rock climbing, mountaineering, kayaking, camping alone, skating across frozen lakes-- and all of these wonderful experiences make me who I am.

I've actually had many people tell me that I'm brave because I cut my hair short! Come one people, our lives are meant to be spent, not saved.

"We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death, and afraid of each other." - Emerson

[Bicyclette]

I am like Veronica - if I only rode with my husband then I could only ride 1-2 times a week. During the week I always ride alone - the only thing I worry about are the crazy drivers hitting me

When I ride along the river I go for miles without seeing anybody - sometimes it's eerie but I always have an emergency plan thought out just in case - but it's not something I dwell on.

My husband doesn't worry about where I ride - he's only ever expressed concern about 1 area along the river where he saw gang graffiti - and I wouldn't ride up there anyway - it's a really nasty ride around a steel mill - horrible stuff - blech!

[pooks]

I think there are a couple of issues here. What one person sees as dangerous, another person might not. So we all have our comfort zones.

I know the US is dangerous compared to other industrialized nations, and I know that Dallas is dangerous -- theoretically. But I've been in some rough areas of Dallas (driving) without ever feeling nervous. Once I asked a couple of guys for directions in a location that probably should have given me pause -- but they looked decent and friendly and I just went with my gut instinct, smiled, asked, got directions, thanked them profusely and drove on. I know LOTS of people -- men and women -- who wouldn't drive in those areas. Sometimes, it's people who are newer to Dallas and didn't grow up here, so the areas are just "names" and dangerous-sounding ones, at that.

So for me, even though I hear and read about murders, rapes and such, they rarely make me uneasy because they're far away from me, or whatever.

Yet I knew a woman some years ago who moved here from Canada and lived in TERROR for a year or longer, because A) she "knew" Texas was dangerous and B) she watched the news and there was so much more violent crime reported than where she was from.

I tend to be Mr. Magoo, myself -- though I have worked hard to establish some of the risk-avoiding behaviours midgetcycler listed. The fact that my husband is more of a worrier than I am is simply a difference in his nature. The fact that my sometimes-Pollyanna attitudes drive him crazy from time to time is unavoidable. It doesn't make him wrong. It doesn't make him a control freak. He just worries more. And it doesn't mean I have to "obey," but I do have to avoid another habit of mine -- talking myself out of believing a situation is dangerous.

I have been known to see somebody who looks skeevy on the side of the road while I'm driving and pulling to a stop, noticing my door is unlocked, and not locking the door because surely the guy can't help it if he looks skeevey and I don't want to hurt his feelings to acting like he's a criminal and locking my door.... I mean, really!

So I'm working on being common sense oriented, considering my husband's feelings but not obsessing over them, and over all -- enjoying my bike.

A couple of times in the past year or two there have been rapes on or near the White Rock Lake bike trail -- the most popular place in Dallas for running, cycling, walking, etc. Thousands and thousands of people use it without issue -- but let's face it, if somebody is looking for an easy target, that's a pretty good place to stalk. At least one woman was murdered there a couple of years ago, as I recall.

Yet it doesn't stop women from running, cycling, walking alone.

Do we do it despite our concerns? I'm sure.

The real concerns should be over locking up the bastids that are doing it, and KEEPING them there. Most of the events I've read about (including the one where the woman was murdered on the bike trail in Dallas) have been repeat offenders.

Sorry for the long babbling post.