Okay... heated topic, and here comes my 2 øre.

(btw, I've never been particularly fond of or good with kids in general, but I have a 9 year old son whom I adore more than anything. Even my bike )

Here goes. While I admire parents able to just abort a shopping trip when little so-and-so has a meltdown, I never felt I had the time to do the same. If I was there, in a store, with my son, you can be sure it was because we *really* needed to buy food that very day. Lord knows I'd have left him behind if I could.

So my solution when he went insane was just say: "Too bad. I know you don't like this, but we'll be here until I'm finished" and then just ignore him. When he was older and more whiny than meltdowny I told him in advance than whining for some sweets or an ice-cream would automatically insure that he did not get it. (Which led to some very sweet hints... "oh, wow, that ice-cream looks good. Doesn't it, mommy? *big smile*")

And I can honestly say that apart from the first few tantrums he did get it, and was in general very well behaved. And he still is! He's learned that adults respond to politeness, whether he really means it or not.

And whenever I hear childless friends griping about screaming kids in stores I remind them that that kid is screaming, not because he's a spoilt brat, but because he is NOT getting whatever he wants. It's all hell to listen to, but the parents are in fact disciplining the kid right in front of your nose, and because of it will behave better another time.