Lost the Love - will it come back?

[Tuckervill]

The whole time I was reading your post, I thought about how much your riding was about HIM, not you. You were constantly comparing yourself to him, and doing it for him and it wasn't your thing.

Sure, it's fun to do stuff together, but where's your individuality? Especially in something so individual as cycling?

What's wrong with riding apart? If we could all ride like men there would be women in the TDF. I'd say find cycling for your own reasons and if you like it, do it your way, not to please him.

I'll bet your bike will be waiting for you when you get around to wanting to ride again. or not. It's your choice. As it should be.

Karen

[DebW]

Very nice post here by PAP103 about remembering why she rides:

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showthread.php?t=7695

[Crankin]

Emily echoed my reasons for keeping cycling fun. Every year, about this time I get burned out and somewhat sick of cycling. Give yourself permission to take days off and find different types of people to ride with. My opinion is that if you keep it fun and not always about how fast or far you go, you won't get sick of it. I was an aerobics addict for many years, got certified to teach classes and then after about 8 years of that I couldn't stand it. I quit teaching the classes, quit going to classes, and got heavy instead of finding another activity. Thankfully this occured at the same tiome my husband got me into cycling. Everything is a cycle.
Most of the other women I ride with ride slower than me. This keeps me sane and "under control." Somehow, I've managed to increase my speed and distance without a training program, just by riding with my husband or by myself, when i can push myself. My husband now does not care so much about speed. He hammers when he commutes to work, but when we ride together, we are TOGETHER. There have been a few times in the last year when health issues forced him to ride slower than me! It was humbling for him and it made him realize that speed doesn't matter. The goal is to keep doing this until we keel over. I enjoy riding my mountain bike because even though I am a perpetual newbie and slow on the trail, it's different and fun. Most people still think I'm a crazy cycling addict even though I know I am "keeping myself under control!"

Robyn

[SouthernBelle]

After reading your post, I thought of several things, most of which have already been posted. But the primary thing is that your riding seems to be about your husband and not about what you enjoy. I would have resented the hand-me-down bike no end.

I say take the winter off from anything pedally. Find something else to do at the gym. Then reassess next spring. If you start looking at new bikes wishfully, then you might end up riding because you love it, and not because your DH does.

[Nokomis]

Thank you all so very much! Honestly, I didn't expect so much support in needing to walk away from the bike - but you're absolutely right!

I really shouldn't have read all this from work - trying really hard not to tear up, but again, from my heart ~ thank you.

[PinkBike]

whoa, you ladies have really got me thinking.
i love to ride and love to get better and faster.
DH and i ride together all the time, but i'm the one who is faster and pushes harder.
we ride together every day when we commute, and we stay together on group rides, but in races i always jump out and try to get a good time.
so, now i'm thinking i should maybe stick with him in the races so it's more fun for him. on our first century ride, we stayed together the whole way and we shared drafting, and we both had a great time. but there was no clock ticking, either. so, should i stay with him and have a shared experience? or do i follow my body that's just poised to attack from the start? he's really proud of me when i post a good time, but then again maybe he feels bad when he's stranded back in the pack alone. i just dunno............
what to do, what to do??

[SouthernBelle]

whoa, you ladies have really got me thinking.
i love to ride and love to get better and faster.
DH and i ride together all the time, but i'm the one who is faster and pushes harder.
we ride together every day when we commute, and we stay together on group rides, but in races i always jump out and try to get a good time.
so, now i'm thinking i should maybe stick with him in the races so it's more fun for him. on our first century ride, we stayed together the whole way and we shared drafting, and we both had a great time. but there was no clock ticking, either. so, should i stay with him and have a shared experience? or do i follow my body that's just poised to attack from the start? he's really proud of me when i post a good time, but then again maybe he feels bad when he's stranded back in the pack alone. i just dunno............
what to do, what to do??

Ask him. He may feel like he is holding you back which won't make him love it. You may be different style riders. Some of us are racer girls. Some of us are long distance riders. Some of us meander. Each of you just need to be what you are. He may like riding on his own some.