TAKE A BREAK!!! Don't beat yourself up. Take a break and ride when it becomes fun again. I see a lot of similarities with you in what happened with me, including some of the "marital dynamics", and I can tell you, it (the love of riding) can come back. I promise!

Here's my story: DH and I started riding together in 2001. I was way better than he was, period. We did some centuries. In 2002, I decided to train for the Death Ride. For me, the problem started with the super specific HRM calendar schedule I was "supposed" to work with for DR. Riding started feeling like work to me. Did the DR, and then just spent a couple of years not riding "much" (I would coach centuries for Team in Training and that was about it). Meanwhile, as I was getting slower and fatter, DH had been dropped by me one time too many and up and lost 30 pounds and became a freaking animal. So , while I was happy for him, it really bummed me out to be the slow one. (I am super competitve also. )

The in August 2004, I decided I wanted to do the Death Ride in 2005. I called my coach, thinking that I should start building a base, etc., and he gave me the best advice ever. Ride when you feel like it. Ride to have fun. So I spent 4 - 5 months riding for fun and at the end of that I did my fastest ever Tour de Tucson. The next year, I did Death Ride and 3 double centuries, along with the standard rides, and this year I did 3 doubles and a 600k. But all along, the riding has been FUN. If I don't feel like it, I don't ride. I don't use a HRM. If I feel good, I ride hard. If I don't, I don't. I set goals that I want to achieve, not based on trying to do something someone else is doing or because someone else (DH) wants me to do something. I plan my training calendar with my goals in mind, but knowing I have a real life, a full time very high stress job and a family and kid who are more important to me than riding my bike, and so I know that there has to be some flexibility built into my training calendar.

DH and I have realized that our riding styles and goals are different, too. He wants to ride hard and fast for 100 miles or less (and the occasional 200k and rare double). I love love love riding fast, but over the last couple years I have found that doing these super long rides is really fun, too. So that's what I am focusing on now. We still ride together (before I got sick and had to take the 6 months off), but I am trying not to let it bug me that he's faster and he is starting to get it that I have different things I want to do.

Long winded way of saying - if it is not fun, don't do it. You had a fun period riding the bike before you got burned out, so I'll bet you'll be able to find that place again. The extra stress work wise and fertility wise is not helping things either right now. Take a break.