Whining about work and dh (I'm probably PMSy)

[Cassandra_Cain]

WTF? Sorry but you aren't PMS'ing honey. That is wayyyyy out of line in my book.

If I'm going to live with someone, they best participate in chores and things be equal. What you have in your pants doesn't make a hill of beans difference. Dishes are dishes, garbage is garbage, cleaning a tub is just that - he won't be any less of a man for doing it.

This probably explains one of the reasons I'm perpetually single. Nonetheless, I'm not going to be someone's mom/maid for the sole sake of having company.

But of course you are perfect, we knew that silly

[esther231]

I'm getting entirely different picture from what you are saying.

Sounds like both of you are under a ton of stress. (two jobs - long hours - your avatar says you have young kids) Your DH sounds depressed to me more than anything. And you sound like you need a break.

You can't fix him. He's gotta do that himself.

But you can fix you. Take the break. Take a day or two off of work to just do stuff you like. Take a night or a Saturday off from the house with a friend who makes you laugh.

Then see how it looks.

One thing is for sure, if you try to fix this stuff when you are already angry about it, you probably do more damage than good. If you try to fix it when you're a good space, it's alittle easier to work on.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

It seems to me that things are not reasonable at all in this situation.
I think you need to talk seriously- preferably with a third party present who has professional experience with mediating and working through couples' problems together.

[Lise]

...and you're training for your first marathon? Does he support you in that? It might be a way to open the conversation.

[limewave]

Lise, we are actually training for the marathon together. And he is very supportive as far as that goes.

I think he grew up where his mom did everything. I have to say on his behalf that about once every six weeks he gets a bug up his butt and he cleans, cleans, cleans--its ridiculous. But then the next day its a mess again because he doesn't know how to pick up after himself.

Thanks for listening girls. I really needed to get that out of my system. I'm taking the afternoon off tomorrow for a massage and vegging. I can't wait. I'm planning to have a chat with DH the next time we have a weekend together--when we are away from home and from work and everything stressful so that we can look at things rationally.

Thanks again!

[Kano]

Once, I was traveling. I came home to a very proud of himself DH. While I was gone, he needed some clean laundry, and had to move it down to the laundry room.

He bought himself a laundry basket to carry it all down.

He said, when I got home, "see? and when it's full, I take it down to the laundry room and put all the clothes in the sorting baskets..."

I waited and waited, and the basket got heaped higher and higher....

Sometimes, I took stuff that wasn't in the basket down to the laundry room, and washed that stuff, but I waited and waited....

Well, he SAID "I take it down" right?

Karen in Boise

[slinkedog]

Once, I was traveling. I came home to a very proud of himself DH. While I was gone, he needed some clean laundry, and had to move it down to the laundry room.

He bought himself a laundry basket to carry it all down.

He said, when I got home, "see? and when it's full, I take it down to the laundry room and put all the clothes in the sorting baskets..."

I waited and waited, and the basket got heaped higher and higher....

Sometimes, I took stuff that wasn't in the basket down to the laundry room, and washed that stuff, but I waited and waited....

Well, he SAID "I take it down" right?

Karen in Boise

So I'm dying to know where it is now and if it's full or not!

[iFKA]

You can't fix him. He's gotta do that himself.

But you can fix you. Take the break. Take a day or two off of work to just do stuff you like. Take a night or a Saturday off from the house with a friend who makes you laugh. .

Totally agree with ester... I'm not married but I'm living with my boyfriend almost a year and here how it goes...

He loves me very much but he's not guy who knows how to say it. "Love you" out of his mouth is a shock for my organism and I miss that cause I'm the youngest child so I received nice words and attention all my life. On the other hand every once in a while he surprises me with flowers or with little gifts or something like that that tells me how much he loves me.

It's important to look the better side. We all have flaws. I can also see he's lovin' me when I have PMS, he tolerates my naggin' and all other pms side affects.

And about socks... As far as he's concern they can be in the livin' room until the more than 10 flies come. It possible that he'd react after 10th fly. But we found compromise cause it's quite degrading for me to carry his dirty socks to dirty laundry room. We bought one little part of furniture (we call it tabure... people usually relax their legs on it when they're sittin' in a armchair) ... that has inner department that no one can notice so he puts his socks in it and when I'm washing laundry I take it out of that compartment. It's not worth it to argue about silly things like that.

Also, when I'm learning (one week before my exam) the house is dreadful but I don't care. When I'm not learning in that period I'm relaxing cause my brain needs some rest and I'm not even tryin' to clean all day and after that learning again. No way...