Witeowl,
I can understand your frustration. Although, I do have to say that when I'm riding in a paceline, I do stay as close to the wheel of the person in front of me as I can. But that's usually when I'm riding with experienced riders in a fast group ride. If the person in front of me leaves a good distance between themselves and the rider in front of them, I will pass and fill in the gap because I don't want to risk getting dropped by the group. Plus I want the benefit of drafting behind more cyclists. Again, that's in an experienced group where most of the riders should know to always pedal and never break without first signaling.
However, there are a couple of other rides that I attend that are more casual, the pace is slower and no one ever gets dropped. Then it's not such a big deal if we get spread out.
It just depends on the group.