Riding in groups is a great thing and can be really frustrating. Everyone's "safe distance" is different. I ride a few inches from the wheel in front of me and if it is a group ride with people that halfway know what they are doing it is okay. If it is group that does not and you and the group are not comfortable riding close, you should not. But, don't be surprised when someone passes you if you have a bike length or more in front of you.

I would pass you because and/or 1, this is a sign that you are uncomfortable riding in a pack; 2 you are not going to be able to stay with the group that you are dropping off the pack; 3 that you do not want to flow to the front of the pack and pull because you are tired and that you just want to take advantage of the draft at the back of the pack. Riding in front of you is is called filling the hole! It is totally acceptable pack riding etiquette. I really don't care if that person is some studly man or as you call yourself a fat girl (don't really think you are that).

IF I am in a group that does not ride well together and no one knows pack riding etiquette I either teach the riders in the group if they are agreeable or ride by myself if it is too unsafe, i.e. wobbly riders, overlapping wheels, inattention, etc. If I have decided to opt out, they can ride however they want, I will take care of myself.

Riding in packs takes practice and someone to help you with the ins and out of etiquette. You also have to bend your elbows be relaxed and go with the flow. Try to find someone who can help you on these rides. If you see someone who seems to know what they are doing - go up to them and ask them to help you. If there is a ride leader and they know what they are doing (not all do), ask them for help! It is really fun not to be afraid to ride in groups. So work on it