Emily, all I can tell you is that's it's ok, sort of, when one is gone, but when both are gone, you become anchorless. It's awful. And then, one night, you will have a dream, and one or the other will be there, just as if it was yesterday, talking the same, looking the same, being the same, as if they were still alive. I always wake up and am thankful for those dreams that keep the tangible things about my parents alive.