Subject: The United States of England You Go Cleese!

[Lise]

John Cleese has the dead parrot.

It is not dead. It's just resting. I mean, pining for the fjords.

[Bron]

Of course it´s dead. If it wasn´t nailed to its perch it would be pushing up the daisies.

[tulip]

Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin!
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken;
To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away;
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!

His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off
And his pen--

(picked from the internet at http://www.stmoroky.com/sirrobin/song.htm)

[Nokomis]

In school I was taught the metric system, because we yanks were surely going to adopt it soon!

I am often embarrassed when cooking or sewing, and have to figure out conversions between gallons/pints/cups, or feet/yard. I don't know these things!! Gimme a kitchen scale & metric any day! I'll even rave about the enhanced flavour and colour, and Like It!

[chickwhorips]

i'm all about the metric system. so much easier to understand.

can we still have chocolate? its great stuff over there in england. maybe shipping wouldn't be as bad.

[SadieKate]

Yeah, but we might have to eated boiled tongue.

[mary9761]

Monty Python - The French Castle Scene


King Arthur and his knights of the round table, along with their servants, "ride" up to a castle. King Arthur's servant, Patsy, blows a horn.

Arthur: HELLO!

*waits*

Bedevere: HELLO!

*waits*

An armour-clad face appears at the top of the rampart. It speaks in an outrageous French accent.

Soldier: 'Allo! 'Oo is it?
Arthur: It is I, King Arthur, and these are my knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this?
Soldier: This is the castle of my master, Guy de Lombard.
Arthur: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.
Soldier: Well, I'll ask 'im, but I don't think 'e'll be very keen-- 'e's already got one, you see?
Arthur: What?
Lancelot: He says they've already *got* one!
Arthur: (confused) Are you *sure* he's got one?
Soldier: Oh yes, it's ver' naahs. (to the other soldiers I told 'em we've already *got* one! (they snicker)
Arthur: (taken a bit off balance) Well... ah, um... Can we come up and have a look?
Soldier: Of course not! You are English types.
Arthur: Well, what are you then?
Soldier: (Indignant) Ah'm French! Why do you think I have this out-rrrageous accent, you silly king?!
Arthur: What are you doing in *England*?
Soldier: Mind your own business!
Arthur: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!
Soldier: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, son of a silly person! Ah blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur Keeeng"! You and all your silly English Knnnnnnnn-ighuts!!!

(the soldier proceeds to bang on his helmet with his hands and stick out his tongue at the knights, making strange noises.)

Lancelot: What a strange person.
Arthur: (getting mad) Now look here, my good ma--
Soldier: Ah don' wanna talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food-trough wiper! Ah fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!
Galahad: Is there someone else up there we can talk to?
Soldier: No!! Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!

[chickwhorips]

Yeah, but we might have to eated boiled tongue.

whats wrong with boiled tongue?

[SadieKate]

Boiled corn on the cob. Boiled pasta. That's the entire list of anything I eat boiled.

[chickwhorips]

corn on the cob.... mmmm... so good and its been so long.

[dachshund]

The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent.

OMG that's hysterical!

OK I disagree that it would be the Big Dweeb, aka Shrub. Blair was over here in CA recently promoting pro-environmental stuff. I kinda think he'd be glad to dump the shrub.

Now: I guess I'd be willing to give up catsup in favour of better beer, the metric system, and having fewer guns and American cars. And no more elections. And Britain is done invading other countries, are they?

[Veronica]

Yeah, but we might have to eated boiled tongue.

I loved cow tongue as a kid. Remember grandparents raised cattle, which I'm scared of...

Anyway. In the early years of our marriage I was going on and on about cow tongue and how good it was. We decided we'd make some. On the weekly grocery trip we looked at the tongue and... it looked like a tongue. I couldn't buy it.

I haven't had any since I was 8 or 9. But I still remember it as being really good stuff.

V.

[SadieKate]

So, if I don't eat any boiled tongue that will leave more for the rest of you. Be sure to do your best for the tongue industry.

[Trekhawk]

Dang- I would gladly give up our customary units of measure for the metric system any day, but it'll be a cold day in h*ll before I start putting u's in words where they don't belong.

That was wonderful- thanks for sharing!!!!

LOL - but they do belong there dear.

Hee Hee I remember the first time someone here in the States said sorry dear I cant really understand you your not speaking American English. What the ?????

Thanks for the giggle.

[Bikingmomof3]

I al;ready use the Us and metric. I am fairly set.