Quote Originally Posted by jobob View Post
Oh my. I'm going thru the same sort of thing right now. When I go out for a ride I worry about the cars on the road much more than I used to, or I worry that I'll be in a dumb solo crash. When Lee goes out for a ride I wonder if I'll get one of those dreaded phone calls. Even when we're out driving, I wonder what might happen. It's not really in the forefront of my mind, but it's definitely there.

I think a large part of it has to do with the fact that up until a couple of months ago our day-to-day existence revolved around my elderly FIL who was in & out & in & out of hospitals and nursing homes, so I was constantly reminded of what life could become.

I'm hoping that, now that my FIL has passed away and we no longer have to be prepped for when the next call comes, I'll get away from this mindset.

(ed to add: I'm 54)
part of this fear may also be a result of depression following the death of your FIL. Any death will take time to adjust to emotionally. When our live in Fil died two years ago, I went into a severe depression since I had been his primary care giver for three years.
any death diminishes us a bit and it takes as much time as it takes to start to feel a bit better about things.

I tend to think that as we get older we have become aware of more possibilities about any situation both good and bad. Being human we tend to emphasize the bad and lip slide the good. As I like to tell people when I daringly let or make myself do something that is uncomfortable, "I'm in here for insanity, not stupidity", and have figured the risk is worth the challenge.

Hang in there and try not let either depression or fear take control. You could die tomorrow or live to a ripe old age. You can't control the timing.