how to deal with a gossip

[indysteel]

I don't engage people directly and ask them about their motivations, but I do try to remind myself that their behaviour is a result of their issues and has nothing to do with me. I also remind myself that my reaction is all about my issues and has nothing to do with them.

Yes, I suppose that's how I tend to approach it, too. I've gotten a lot better in recent years at understanding that someone's behavior doesn't necessarily have anything to with me. I've also gotten better at not assuming that someone's seemingly hurtful behavior was necessarily intentional either. I try (although it's a struggle) not to always assume the worst.

I think your last point is important as well.

All that said, I think certain people and their behaviors do sometimes need to be dealt with affirmatively. Whether Badger's gossip monger is among them; I don't know. I'm curious as to whether people really believe what this guy says or whether they just let it go in one ear and out the other. That might influence how I dealt with him.