Dear Joe the confused,

Well, you're living up to your epithet again. The way the dog was sprawled on the couch last night, her nipples were in clear sight. Very tempting for a cat who still likes to suckle, I'm sure. But she's a dog, and you are a cat. What's more, she's a dog who's not interested in letting you nurse. As you found out. Next time, why not stick to Moses? At least he's a fellow cat, and seems to enjoy having you suckle.