Dear Brown Dog,

Thanks for playing nice with the other dog at Thanksgiving dinner. Yes, he's a little strange, and yes, he insisted on chewing on your bone and your squeaky chicken. Thank you for understanding that "Chikin" had to go away in order to preserve the peace.

You're a good dog, and your dad and I love you very much.

Mom

P.S. Why is the squeaky toy more valuable than the bone? Every potential scuffle has been over a squeaky toy, never a bone. Please explain this to your confuzzled momma.