Strange situation need advice please.

[Irulan]

Get some rest, Brandi.
My professional and personal opinion is that it's only going to make you more upset to go. Just because someone is related to you, doesn't mean you owe him/her anything. Not a popular opinion, but some people do horrible things to others, and it's OK not to have a relationship with this kind of person. If you think it's going to make you feel better, go, but you've made several attempts at reconciliation and they have been rebuffed. And Knot is right. People die and you don't need to feel guilty about this.

Where is that "like" button? I'm with crankin on this one. My dad, while married to my mother, and in my life, did some really evil things. He's been dead about 25 years now. One of the more horrible experiences of my life was feeling obligated to have some sort of a relationship with him, even tho he'd done these things that no one knew about. When I went to his memorial, it was awful.... all these people were talking about how wonderful and great he was, and all I could think/feel was "are you people f*****g kidding me? Do you even know?". It made me want to throw up.

Anyway, once I came to terms with the fact that I was in no way obligated to love my father, life was much easier for me. I respect that he had his own pain, but that doesn't excuse his behavior. One can give up a resentment without having to forgive.