I really like riding home in the dark - with good lights, my cell phone, and on streets with which I am familiar. I would avoid deserted trails and crowded streets. My dark route is ~2.5 miles longer than my day route, too avoid crowded streets mostly. I ride home after rush hour traffic when I do ride in the dark.
Good lights, good good lights. visible clothing and moving reflectors - to be seen and to see.
I like Dinottes, but they've fallen out of favor due to their wide beam. Ay-up look great. Niteriders already mentioned are probably pretty good.
When I tried Niterider I was still trying to save money. I bought a $25 light - nope, a $65 Niterider - nope, then finally a $150 Dinotte. I now own 3 Dinottes, 1 white to see, 1 yellow and 1 ret to be seen.
Don't skimp, spend the money, or you will just be wasting your money.
I also figure I don't necessarily look like a woman, and I try and keep it that way.

Edit to say the other thing you might consider is an airzound or similar - that way if something happens you will also be heard.